All That I've Learned Working for Three and a Half Years at an International Gay Organization




1. Gay don't mean nice. You answer the phone and try to help someone who just wants someone to talk to, and they will act like you are responsible for their death if you tell them to call another agency that can actually help them. The people who are actually in the most danger aren't usually threatening suicide and threatening to expose your organization as incompetent, they're fighting to live and be left alone.



2. If you are gay and you have political promise, you are sent far away. The Foreign Service is therefore full of gay people. Your visa is not delayed because of homophobia, it is delayed because of the satellite TV marathon of Queer as Folk. Or because you didn't pick up on the visa officer's hints that you should meet him later for cocktails.


3. You wouldn't believe how many people think they have chips in their heads. And think the CIA and KGB really are controlling their thoughts via TV commercials during Ally McBeal reruns. Being able to write a letter using both upper and lower case letters appropriately doesn't mean you're sane. Gay don't mean sane, and sure as hell don't mean smart! Whoever thinks LGBT people are better than other people-- just do an 8-hour shift answering our phones. We've got our share of red-zone whacko scary wingnuts. And if you are one of these: THE CIA DOESN'T CARE ABOUT YOU. They're too busy with "regime changes" to tap your phone just because you are a lesbian.



4. This is the most important one. Never chalk up to homophobia what can be accounted for by sheer incompetence. The post office doesn't hate you because you are receiving a lot of mail from organizations with the dreaded "GL " consonant cluster in their acronyms. They hate everyone the same.



Those four points really just about do it. I have a lot of advice to give to those new to working for/with the queer / LGBT community, but these four are the most enduring tidbits.