Monday, February 02, 2004

And Our Superbowl Champion is... Wait, it's a Photo Finish! It's Janet Jackson, By a Nipple!

No, really, it was a good game. I was so angry last year when I finally had a home team (the Raiders) going to the Superbowl and they acted like... well... I'm speechless, it was so shameful. It's like their mothers had all yelled at them that morning. Their hearts weren't in it. They handed the ball to Tampa Bay and curled up in the fetal position. But this year, the teams really struggled, and even the losers had oodles of fabulous (record-setting!) plays, like those super-hero-esque vertical leaps-- once even floating into a gazelle-like run/ touchdown. The teams were humble, they were earnest, they were playing good football.

The entire opening ceremony, and half-time show, however, were sickening stews of rancid Americana, with only one shining-- like a sun!-- moment. The tasteless cameo of Janet Jackson's fantastic nipple piercing. And then the commentators straining to not comment on it, since it was illegal for us to have seen what we so most certainly did see.

Boy do I prefer European TV... they don't pretend like the human female breast is all that. They have totally inured the poplace to the effect, grinding boobies into your face in the middle of morning yoga programs. They would rather shock you with the newest news about the US government breaking with UN protocol and then toppling other governments for breaking with UN protocol. That's the stuff Europeans think should be illegal.