Stalking Gender Identity with the New Gender Identity Shoe Key

Argue if you will, but I'm pretty sure it's unimproveable. With all available information, that is.



OK. Whatever. Behold the glory. Inspired by the ESPN rerun of the national cheerleading championships, which reminded me of the fact that outside the San Francisco Bay Area people actual engage the extreme ends of gender and take it seriously.



Starting at the masculine end and working towards the feminine, find that shoe that suits you:



FOOTBALL PLAYER

100% 24/7 passing male with an unchallenged gender identity

Adidas Running Shoes



STONE BUTCH

The can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em kind of guy/ FTM/butch who nevertheless is at the mercy of the HIGH FEMME.

Lace Up Hiking Boots

These tend to set the tone of the butch (male, female, trans, gay-les-bi, whatever) discourse, because they are the most likely to draw attention to their own gender identity, willingly or not.



SERVICEY BUTCH

The fop who likes to make all the ladies at ease, aware of his/her effect on people and voted Most Likely to Bring Flowers.

Penny Loafers



SOFT BUTCH

Voted Most Likely to Have a Political Agenda, and/or a Sarcastic Sense of Humor, and/or a Women's Studies Degree.

Classic example: Mo from Alison Bechdel's Dykes to Watch Out For

Skechers or Other Vanity Pseudo Sport Shoe

AND Voted Most Likely to Wish S/He Set the Gender Discourse, Butch AND Femme



FUTCH

This category confounds gender identity. From pixies with bald heads to bodybuilders with long hair, from superheroes to performance artists. And bloggers.

Anything 'tall. From Jellies to Moon Boots.



LOW FEMME

I have a bit of a blind side about this category because it's where I fall most of the time. But it is my ASTUTE opinion that you can tell a low femme by her

Sensible Shoes, like Doc Martens or Blundstones.

Voted Most Likely to Wear Hand Me Down Shoes. (She can be a bottom feeder of a sort, she has no glamour to lose.)



HIGH FEMME

This is the one the Stone Butch can't live with but can't live without.

Duh. Pumps.



SUPERFEMME DIVA

These tend to set the tone of the femme (female, male, trans, gay-les-bi, whatever) discourse, because they are the most likely to draw attention to their own gender identity, willingly or not. Like the Stone Butch.

Open Toe Spike-Heeled Pumps or Other Extreme Toe-Cleavage-Revealing Shoes

Voted Most Likely to Own More Than One Each Wig and Boa (Feathered).



CHEERLEADER

100% 24/7 passing female with an unchallenged gender identity

Adidas Running Shoes

Voted Most Likely to Become a Vampire Slayer or Demon Goddess and Start Wearing Leather Pants.

...OK at least in my universe.



AND NOW THAT YOU HAVE THE TOOLS TO MEASURE YOUR GENDER STRENGTH:

go practice flexing your gender muscles. Try out a new gender presentation. Learn a cheer. Throw a football. Buy new shoes.

Or, if you want to try out Low Femme, scavenge them.



And for chissakes check out the Gender Terrorist's website. My friend Del-- who doesn't believe s/he is transitioning gender, but creating gender art every day with her/his own body. If you only knew the look on my 94 year old great uncle the Methodist Minister's face when he pulled Del's book off my shelf.



Here's Del defining Gender Terrorist:



A Gender Terrorist is anyone who consistently and intentionally subverts,destablizes and challenges the binary gender system.This is the notion that only two genders exist, male and female. The fact is, while this system might work (and that's a matter of opinion) for most people it doesn't work.Too many people are harmed both physically and mentally,in the attempt to force themselves into a shoe that doesn't fit.



Happy shoe shopping/ stalking/ scrounging, Cinderellas!