On Top of Being Alarmed About the Impending War...


...and the resemblance of the pro-war demonstrators to facist nationalist/ Nazi types marching past me at the bus stop this morning, waving a torch and a flag and chanting "we support our troops" ...


I have just now run across THIS depressing dinosaur bone on the internet. Actually it's more like a broken clay tablet in cuneiform-- with the story of a once-rich queer cafe culture that has all but disappeared in the SF Bay Area.



Seven out of twelve are gone, as far as I know. Here are some of the casualties:



Mad Magda's -- a personal favorite with a nice blend of Russian, Jewish, Pagan and queer culture. I miss most the hammer and sickle inside the Star of David painted on the floor where you ordered, and the little magic garden where they had acoustic music, did aura readings and served tea under the only birch tree I've ever seen in San Francisco. Mismanaged by the diva / performer who owned it, sold, reopened as some other cafe. RIP.



The Patio Cafe -- closed for remodeling for like ten years now. I miss the adorable gay boy waiters in their super tight short shorts, their eggs Florentine (one of my few sins when I was still vegan), and the outdoor heaters with the wonderful cascading ferns and ivy in the back.



Josie's Cabaret and Juice Joint -- the comedy venue where I first saw Marga Gomez, after she left SF and before she moved to NY. She had a lot to say about LA lezzies, convincing me to not rush to go south of Salinas. I still have never been. Josie's was also the headquarters for the Tom Ammiano write-in campaign for mayor, and as a volunteer there I was reminded that Josie's was not only vegetarian in terms of the (delicious) food they served, but volunteers were not allowed to bring in non-vegetarian food to eat on the premises. A place friendly to dogs, and friendly to dykes, and sorely missed. Now it is a Zao noodle house. I loved the bash they threw for the Survivor's Guide to Sex book release party, where Annie Sprinkle (pre-house-boat fire, wearing one of her awesome costumes) led us all in a guided meditation to bring the entire 200 person audience to orgasm, Tina D'Elia wore one of her slit all the way up the thigh tight red dresses and read a dripping, hot, wet poem or two, and in finale the Hail Marys played their sparkling all-dyke pop rock for a small remaining audience consisting mostly of the band's lovers and ex-lovers.



Red Dora's Bearded Lady Cafe -- the Bearded Clam, the women's performance art Ground Zero, the home of the smallest bathroom in North America, the place where the china was chipped, the counter help was surly, and the gossip was torrid. Since it changed hands and then sunk into unprofitability (posting hours of business that seemed to relate not at all to when it was actually open) and closed, I have ended up in close relationship with the people who founded and kept alive that steamy Bearded scene. I actually performed at the last show at the Bearded Lady. But I was too depressed to go help dismantle the decor. I miss the horse model/ cowboy toy collection, strange installation art shows, the climbing, flowering vine-filled back quarter, and the 5 zillion different kinds of fliers on the walls, doors, and piled inside the front window. I remember seeing a flier there for someone trying to start a queer youth pirate radio station-- "help start this station or you'll shrivel up and die listening to KFOG!" (Now, I like KFOG for their morning show, but boy there's only so much Chris Isaak and Bruce Hornsby one person can take.) I missed the golden age of the Bearded Lady when my now-dead girlfriend Kris was paying the cafe's rent, cleaning and cooking, and trying to keep the doors open by hosting Friday night performance art shows. She did something like 20 shows there and managed to bring in talent like Dorothy Allison, Kathy Acker, Jewel Gomez, Michelle Tea (pre-Sister-Spit, pre-book{s}), and I think she even had Michael Franti. Or maybe she just tried to get him. She was impressed by his chainsaw act with The Disposable Heroes of HipHopracy when they played the Women's Building for some white lezbo event. So you get the idea. Crazy shit went down there, like someone opening 52 cans of tunafish, dumping it on the (concrete and spongelike-to-fish-oil) floor and stomping around in it, and another performance artist reading a poem while getting fisted. I saw the mysterious cowgirl duo Downriver there, and as part of the DirtyBird young queer punk festival I saw radical movie shorts there (one short that featured knife and blood play managed to nearly empty the place), and lastly, before the final final show, I saw my lover Kris read her novellas there, being recorded for posterity. Nothing has taken the place of the Bearded Lady, and probably nothing ever will.



Radio Valencia had a lot of bad luck. Right after being remodeled a truck drove right through their plate glass window and put them back at square one. When they finally again reopened, I became a regular for their African peanut soup, and of course their great music selection, which you could follow along with playlists at each table. They had the class, kitchy-chic decor and good food that Hamburger Mary's wanted. They had sonorous acoustic jazz ensembles almost every night, it seemed, and yet they were not too hip to have good service. I miss their good soup the most. Now it's either a Chinese or Thai food place with one of the ugliest signs on all of Valencia.



The Brick Hut and Edible Complex are both gone, also. I heard a lot about the former, and not much in comparison about the latter. I was freshly landed in the area when the Brick Hut started having the telltale symptoms of desperate benefit concerts. I am not sure I had even figured out how to use BART to cross the bay when it finally closed. I still hear women lamenting the loss of the Brick Hut- apparently it had really good concerts. I didn't hear anything about why it really closed, but I remember that landlord greed was blamed. I don't believe anything has taken over that building yet. In fact, looking on line a little, I think that it is scheduled to be destroyed in order to build some kind of housing there.



I found another sad gay list of mostly closed venues here-- it lists my beloved and lamented Alfred Schilling and Valentine's.



Alfred Schilling had the best mochas in all of San Francisco, and possibly the gayest waiter I've ever met. They were a little pricey, and had this weird dour Egyptian decor, but their bouncy gay waiter- who I think was French- gave the best waitservice in that whole neck of town, actually earnestly concerned that you had a really good meal, and a really good day. Besides the mocha and the waiter, I miss their whole-building mural of an African/ Egyptian pharoah topless queen seeming to soar like a torpedo out of the wall aimed at the Castro, her eyes rolling up to look at the rainbow flag on top of the building.



Valentine's was my little special occasion place back when I gave a shit about my diet, with its totally vegan but also gourmet menu. The last time I went there was after the Gay Pride Forced March 2000, with someone whose e-mail user name and hence my mental nickname for her is "Veganliz." We were windblown and sunburned, and after being topless half the day we were a little chilled. But still we sat on the sidewalk in the sun to have our coffee with soymilk (served in a porcelain serving pitcher) and organic green salads. I have no idea why it closed, but I especially miss their warm biscuit side dish.



Other casualties of mismanagement and/or the Dot Com Boom/Bust since I moved here include the amazing Old Wives Tales bookstore, Womencrafts West, the Whiptail Lizard Lounge, The Lab (that one went quietly-- unless it is technically still open but just not hosting shows), the CoCo Club, the Chat House, Castlebar, and - although not explicitly gay, an important punk venue - the rowdy smoky velvet-painting-clad Chameleon. Now the building where The Lab was (is?) and where queer arts venues Theatre Rhino and Luna Sea are still chugging along is in danger of being sold. Queer cafe, art, and performance culture has sure taken a beating since I moved here in 1995, not to mention Pagan culture (I think there's only one or two Pagan supply stores left in the city- when I moved here there were six or more).



You can see my measly attempt at queer culture preservation-- San Francisco in Exile -- a project where I work as one of the producers to stage queer performances and audio record them for posterity, an idea spawned by my dead girlfriend (pre-death) and passed on to me.




Tomorrow-- hopefully a morning free of nationalists with torches and flags!