Sunday, February 16, 2003

Signs of the Other 44%



The news tonight says that 66% of US Americans approve of a war on Iraq-- only with our allies' support, but still. Well, the other 44% represented by about 250,000 people marched in San Francisco today, and I was drawn into the vortex with my little notepad and pen.



Here are some of the signs I saw (or heard of):



My friend Anna's intellectual Jewish father's sign:

Unilateral preemption -- a fatal precedent.



My other friend Anna's intellectual Jewish father's sign:

(A figure of Bush posed like "Uncle Sam" pointing his finger at you, wearing a Bin Laden beard and headgarment) I Want YOU for Al Queda... Bush says to Iraqis

On the back: War Will Recruit Terrorists



Another similar sign I saw:

Orphans Make Good Terrorists



Here's another intellectual sign:

Returned Peace Corps Volunteers for a Responsible Foreign Policy



I looked for the sexy/ perverted signs and the march was found lacking. This is the best I could do:



Brazilian Bikini Waxers Against Bush



...and this one which on second thought wasn't meant in the spirit me and my friends first took it...

Stop The War-- I Want To Get Off



Along with the

Food Not Bombs, and

Books Not Bombs, there were

Boobs not Bombs t-shirts-- on some chesty women, too.


There were quite a variety of identity-based slogans:

Midwives Say Push Hard for Peace



and...

11-year-olds...

Mullets...

Mohawks...

Straight White Men...

and
Cleavage For Peace.




As far as LGBTQ identity placards, I only saw Dykes For Peace, and Voting Queer Rancher for Peace. The latter wasn't the voting queer rancher trannydyke friend who I was hoping to run into at the march... she was able to find one of the queer contingents to sherpa her through the mob.



Along with the old standbys Regime Change Begins At Home and Have Another Pretzel, some of my other sign favorites were:


Don't Be Fuelish

Use Duct Tape for Homeland Security (with Bush's mouth taped)

Little lapel ribbons someone was making out of duct tape

War Hurts Kittens-- Won't Someone Please Think of the Kittens!

Afros Against the War (and the sign-carrier had a massive Afro, for emphasis)

Giants Fans For Peace-- Throw Bush Out At Home

(Two signs together) Nice People Against Icky Stuff -- with a plastic sunflower dotting the "i" in "nice" -- and

Smart Asses for Peace. ...The "nice person" had added in tiny print at the bottom: ...and I'm single!

It's a Fine Line Between Colin Powell and Colonial Power

Empty Warheads Found in Washington (with pictures of Bush, Powell, and Rumsfield)

A Do Not Enter sign with IRAQ taped into the middle

Cockroaches For Armageddon

Mong Fish Not War (i.e. -- fishmongering / warmongering)

War is Sweet To Those Who Haven't Tasted It -- Erasmus

Whoa Cowboy!

(in large print) Only One Country Has Used Nuclear Weapons (and much smaller) It Was Not Iraq

Lots of depictions of gas pumps as guns, including one person in a gas mask holding an actual gas pump nozzle to her temple,

and

VETO si'l vous plait!



There were a lot of signs made in French and other languages thanking the nations which are fighting the US war effort. I think this was the first US march I've been in where people carried UN flags and French flags... usually there is no faith put in any governing power by demonstrators.



There were a lot of good efforts put into magnificent-but-invisible signs made of clear plastic and duct tape. The US flag made of tiny duct tape stars and stripes on cellophane was wonderful, but a waste of effort for how it disappeared among flashy color signs.



There was a contingent of sweet, quiet geeks in front of the (comparatively loud and charismatic) Quaker Friends where I was marching. The geeks had signs written in black ballpoint on the kind of cardboard that you find in the package of manila envelopes you buy at Walgreens. One of their catchy slogans was Algebra Not War. Someone needs to introduce them to the Graphic Designers Against War.



My placard was from the American Friends Service Committee/ Quaker contingent. It was something like Interfaith Communities for Peace and Justice. Which brings me to my...



Slacker Stalker's Rules for Marching in a Mob Against Something

(for me as much as you.)



1. READ YOUR OWN SIGN. I am not sure what mine said, except that it didn't offend me. I went up to people with Draft SUV Drivers signs to give them some fake "tickets" for SUV gas-guzzlers (see my blog from a few days ago)-- about half of them seemed foggy on why I was picking them out to give them anti-SUV protest materials.



2. Writing a sign with each letter in a different rainbow color LEAVES YOU WITH AN INVISIBLE YELLOW LETTER. Just don't do it. Black, or dark green or dark red (which are black to the average eye in dim light) on white or a yellow/ tawny color is the very most visible combination.



3. The People, United, Will Run Eachother Over. Respect wheels (on chairs, baby carriages, whateveh), and respect the laws of physics regarding disparate matter not being able to occupy the same space. Your unwieldy backback gives you a backward wingspan (spinespan?) of about four extra feet, which you can use as a weapon to knock over a whole herd of skinny suburban ladies with one quick pivot. Do not use your body, bag, sign, baby carriage, or wheel chair as battering rams. Say excuse me, pardon me, scuzi, sneeze, blow a whistle, ANYTHING-- just don't push and bolt through a crowd. And think about bringing a smaller knapsack than the one you used to hike all of Bohemia last summer.



4. WRITE ON BOTH SIDES OF YOUR SIGN. We are all behind you. We will not run to find out what you are projecting forward to the two people who are turning around to see how far behind their friends are. We will more likely stop and wait for you to pass so we can read the back. I saw one hard-working pair carrying a whole huge canvas on a wooden frame with a nice black-on-yellow Bush Knew About 9-11... with an afterthought-- No War-- scribbled on the back.



5. TISSUES and PLASTIC BAGS are wasteful consumer products which you MUST BRING on every march. You WILL generate stains and garbage, unless you are Martha Stewart, in which case you like the status quo and won't be marching against anything.



6. RESPECT THE MIC at the rally before or after the march. The one time you are shouting over the speeches to your friends on the other side of the field is going to be the one time that celebrity guest speaker will be sitting on the public transit vehicle as you part from your friends and make your way back to the suburbs. Listen to what the rally speakers are saying so that you can have a palsywalsy bantering moment with Bonnie Raitt, Joan Baez, or Dolores Huerta later on. You think I'm kidding? I rode home tonight next to one of the speakers, still wearing her credentials badge. She looked like Dolores Huerta, but since I didn't get close enough to see the rally stage, and didn't really listen very well to the speakers, I couldn't tell if it was really her, or say anything pithy in response to her speech.



I will try-- if you will- to have better marching habits. As the Rosies the Riveters contingent said today-- We Can Do It!