Late Breaking News Alert: Cement Lawn Ornament Thief on the Loose

This is a clipping from the Watertown Daily Times, saved by my alert parents for me back at the end of October.

Woman Accused of Having Man's Lawn Ornament

Kimberly E. Robinette, 39, of 247 High St., Apt. 47, was charged Wednesday by city police with fifth-degree criminal possession of stolen property and is due to appear in City Court.

Police allege that about 4 a.m. Oct. 29, she was found possessing a cement lawn ornament belonging to David W. Johnson, 202 W. Main St. She had the item wrapped in her jacket near the Johnson residence, police said.

So, 1) what were the police doing out there at 4 a.m.? They picked her up right by the crime scene. They don't have beat cops in Watertown, so someone called the cops on her. So, my guess is she was totally drunk and made a huge racket dragging this cement statue of the Virgin Mary or whatever it was out of its bathrub or whatever it was planted in. Mr. Johnson was pretty pissed is my other guess.

2) what is FIFTH degree criminal possession of stolen property? Is this a special category for lawn ornaments?

3) I can never get enough of the specificity of the information they give. Her age, address, AND apartment number. Can't they leave a lawn ornament coveter in peace?

News from the Frozen Tundra: We're Cold, We're Hungry

From the Watertown Daily Times police blotter again:

Carthage Woman Accused of Stealing Two Blankets

CARTHAGE, NY - A Carthage woman was arrested Wednesday after allegedly stealing two blankets worth $17 each from Kinney Drugs on State Street.

Paula Burke, 47, of 611 State St., was charged with petit larceny and received an appearance ticket to return to village court.

Poor lady, I think we can call that a crime of survival.

Denny's Patron is Accused of Not Paying $11.91 Bill

A Watertown man was charged early Friday with skipping out on his bill at Denny's restaurant, 1142 Arsenal St.

Dana M. Zmijewski, 18, of 419 S. Massey St., was charged by city police at 1:28 a.m. with theft of services for allegedly leaving the restaurant at 11:54 p.m. Thursday without paying and $11.91 bill. He is scheduled to answer the charge in City Court.

OK, notice the time delay. He left the restaurant and an HOUR AND A HALF later the police caught up. Was there a chase? Did they take down his plates and run it by their database and just drive up to his house in the middle of the night? How bored ARE the "city" police up here?

I just want to add, after yesterday eating lunch at a local eatery a few miles down the road, Denny's is actually one of our nicer restaurants, where food is not being prepared exactly the way you would prepare it at home. Yesterday at "The Hotel Adams" (a hotel from the 1890's that has a "restaurant" in it consisting of a menu of fried food to go along with the long wrap-around bar) my father ordered a tunafish sandwich, and he got two slices of $2-a-loaf whole wheat with canned tunafish slabbed on it, cut slantwise. Nothing but the slopped on fish mush, not even a piece of lettuce. Luckily, their sandwiches are only $3.