Tallying Up With The Lesbian Movie Standard



Yes, I've had a slow holiday season, and I've watched a lot of movies. As long as I brought up the Lesbian Movie Standard (at the tail end of yesterday's stalking Judy Holliday report-back), I might as well catch you up with the running tally. But first, about the Lesbian Movie Standard. From the top.



Q. What is the Lesbian Movie Standard?


    A. To have at least two women characters who have at least one conversation about something other than a man.


Q. Why ask this of a movie?


    A. Because the movie marketers did a study and found that females identify as easily with male and female protagonists with nearly equal intensity; males, however, have been shown to exclusively identify with male protagonists (at least so far as they will admit on a marketer's survey) so movie makers have no financial incentive to A) have any female roles, much less B) have TWO female roles. And two females having a serious non-boy-centered conversation on the screen is a rarity. You would think females' lives revolved around men. Or that there are no female actors who need jobs. Even Meryl Streep (according to an interview I saw a few years ago) has trouble getting work in mainstream movies. She makes very little money and works hardly at all compared to the actors with penises. So, the Lesbian Movie Standard, which might seem ludicrously easy to meet, is something modern mainstream movies almost never fulfill, I have found. Think for a minute, how many all-male movie casts have you seen? The Shawshank Redemption was an excellent movie with no women in the cast, unless non-speaking extras. I could go on- they are rather easy to find. Now, how many all-female casts have you seen on a movie screen? Outside the San Francisco International Lesbian and Gay Film Festival? Me, outside the festival, I think I've seen none.


Q. Who came up with the Lesbian Movie Standard?


    A. I picked it up from a movie reviewer from some lezzie rag like Lesbians on the Loose (from Australia). Or maybe Curve. I hate "Girlfriends" for being all fluff and for Ed in Chief Heather Findlay editing Kris' obituary shittily (even meanly), so if I got it from there I'd still give Curve the credit.


The Tally
In No Particular Order

NEW MOVIES FIRST:


The Two Towers: duh, no.

The Hours: beaucoups conversations on serious topics between many different women characters. An orgy of female verbage.

Maid in Manhattan: surprisingly, yes. The management position discussions. Go, J-Lo! Out Of Sight didn't meet the LMS but it showed how J-Lo can rock and roll on the screen. So it's still one of my fave movies. ("You wanted to tussle, we tussled." ~~sizzle~~)



NEWISH MOVIES:


Magnolia: surprisingly, no. If the mother and daughter had made two sentences of conversation after the "Mommy!" exclamation... but no, it was almost as though the director was making a statement by omitting any direct interaction between females throughout this long and exquisite movie.

The Shipping News: unsurprisingly, no. I would give it props for having a scene with Julianne Moore playing the accordian, though.

Men In Black 2: again, unsurprisingly, no. But please do rent the DVD if you ever have an entire day to kill. Many hours of extras.

Y Tu Mama Tambien: no. But props for NOT showing the heroine becoming decrepit, throwing up and snowed under by morphine drip. If they were more conservative, they could have gone that extra shitty mile to underline the plot's punishing outcome that allows us to excuse/ suspend judgement of the heroine's remarkable steps towards self-determination. But why couldn't they have let her thrive, or even start a brothel for the under-twenty set on the coast?

Josie and the Pussycats: okay, it's kinda old now. But YES, thankfully, yes.

Legally Blonde: duh, yes. Go Reese!

Election: again, kinda old, but as long as we're watching Reese fill the prodigious boots of Judy Holliday, yes. She discusses election strategy with her mom.

My Big Fat Greek Wedding: read my review of this one. Yes, by a hairsbreadth, it meets the LMS. Her grandma telling about HER wedding, passing on the story of the family. I have to give it props for as of the end of November 2002 becoming the highest earning romantic comedy of all time (beating Pretty Woman), and being a production made on a low budget and under the control of the female protagonist, who was telling a fictionalization of her own life.



NOW THE REALLY OLD ONES:


Every Judy Holliday movie listed in my blog yesterday (except The Marrying Kind, which was stolen from my local video store so I haven't seen it yet) has been approved as meeting the Lesbian Movie Standard. Rock on, wherever you are, Judy!