The Undead Continuum



A coworker friend of mine used the word "Undead" today as he was describing the plot of a little play he just saw "Attack of the Living Dead Drag Queens." I contended that "Living Dead" was redundant for "Undead" and that if I were a Zombie Person I'd prefer to be called a Living Dead Person, rather than the dismissive-sounding Undead (which is also a confusing term-- aren't you really Resurrected rather than Undead?). He opened my eyes and got me to think about all the myriad ways you could be Undead.



So, welcome to the Undead Continuum:

UNDEAD-- umbrella term for the differently dead.




If you are "undead" you have a living-history and are now identifying with the post-living. However, you could be living with many different "undead" identities.



"Undead" does not include you if you are a Werewolf, Mermaid, or other seasonally/ environmentally changing creature, because you never technically died.



THE LIVING DEAD-- also called THE WALKING DEAD. These are the undead (formerly living) who are experiencing something like a life while actually not technically having a beating heart and traditional human dietary habits. Among the living dead you can find undead people who identify as any of the following:

ZOMBIES

VAMPIRES



They tend to dress a little out of step with fashion, but that's a beautiful thing too. It's ok to be different. It's not easy being green, as Kermit says.



DO NOT ASSUME THAT ALL LIVING DEAD REQUIRE:

* Nourishment from blood

* Protection from sunlight, holy water, or crosses

* A coffin for a bed

* A soil sample of her or his homeland to rest

* An invitation to enter a non-living-dead person's home



DO NOT ASSUME THAT ALL LIVING DEAD CAN:

* Survive anything

* Hear your personal conversations from miles away

* Do triple flips in mid-air from a standstill

* Heal themselves with blood (yours or someone else's)



DO NOT ASSUME THAT LIVING DEAD CAN BE "KILLED" by:

* Wooden stakes

* Decapitation

* Sunlight

* Any recitation of biblical source texts



Most of the above points are copped from this site---
I have no idea what it is.



If you are Undead, but not Living Dead, then you may identify as any of these...

GHOST (a category that includes Poltergeists, Ancestor Spirits, Casper-the-Friendlies, etc.)

GHOULIE

WILL O' THE WISP

MONSTER (Frankenstein's, etc.)

DEMON

PATRON SAINT



The more you dwell among the Currently Living (signified by the number of magazine subscriptions you have), then the more you may identify as a Living Dead person. There is no reason why a Ghost could not be living among us completely unnoticed and undifferentiated from the Currently Living. Look at your bus driver tomorrow morning-- could this person really be alive? Couldn't s/he be a Ghost? Would you really notice if s/he was?



The more you are tied to place or object (such as a genie in a bottle), the less likely you are to identify with the lifestyle of the Living Dead. However out of step with the world of Currently Living you may be, I'm sure you will be welcomed and supported among your Undead peers.



More than ever it is time to stop saying "EVIL" and "UNDEAD" in one breath without giving some consideration to the rich lives, uh, lifestyles these folks live. Are they reeeeally Evil or are you just envious of how they don't have to pay taxes?



Here are Some Resources for Undead People:

Care and Feeding of Undead Pets

Zombie Guide 2002

A Vampire-centric View of the Undead (for you Vampire fundamentalist-separatists)

An Actual News Article About Undead Banks in Russia ...slightly Vampicentric but a good read nevertheless.