Buffy the Vampire Slayer Could Branch Out For a Change

More Important than Compassion: Personal Vengeance



Buffy the Irresponsible Dog Owner Slayer

Making the Parks Safe for Children and Their Picnic Blankets Everywhere



Buffy the Drivers of SUVs Who Turn Left At Red Lights While Talking On Their Cell Phones and Not Signalling Slayer

These People Even Scare the Shit Out of Vampires



Buffy the Purveyor of Insufferably Cute Poetry Chain Letters and Concerned Citizen Petitions Slayer

The Taliban didn't ever read your petition protesting the treatment of women, and I will lose my few remaining friends, not a hallmark of good luck, if I forward them all your horrible poem about the child whose father died in the World Trade Center, OK?



Buffy the Uncaring Medical Professional Slayer

Can't Afford to Get a Bedside Manner Transplant in Time for Your Next Appointment With the Sick and Vulnerable Woman with Cancer Who Needs Help With her Pain Management? You Can't Afford Not To Get One!



Buffy the Overzealous Arbitrary Parking Law Enforcer Slayer

Soulless Creature, Nobody Likes You and Nobody Will Miss You



Buffy the Grammar Snob Slayer

You the Middle Management of the Literary Art World, Humanities Majors Gone Wrong, Underemployed and Taking Out Creative Insecurities on the Innocent-- Be Warned! Obsessively pointing out bad spelling to a short blonde cheerleader may be the last thing you do! I mean, I like a typo-free piece of text as well as the next person, or maybe more than the next person, but especially men who like to make women feel stupid by reading only a woman's typos and dismissing her ideas need to be stabbed more than once with a stake in the heart.



Buffy the Everyone Who Voted for Bill Simon Slayer

What was it, you liked his criminal record better than Grey Davis'? Repent and vote Green for chissakes. Or better yet, Meet Mister Pointy!



{Imagine Stabbing Noises Here}



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