Tuesday, February 11, 2003

How to Stalk - and Ticket - Gas Guzzler SUVs for Sport and Edification



I was in a semi-serious car accident recently, and today I found out it was a "light van" who attacked the parked-in-traffic line of four cars, causing us all to rear-end eachother. So, for the record, this isn't a grudge match. If it was an SUV who attacked us, the insurance investigator would have just said so.



On the other hand, I was in a minor confrontation with an SUV owner earlier today, when I offered the rest of my bellydancing class "tickets" to go around with which to tag their neighborhood gas hogs -- fake parking tickets that suggest that the owner should contact the manufacturer and ask them to make more fuel-efficient cars. Apparently, her SUV had been ticketed more than once with these things. It was also apparent that she hadn't read the ticket to see that it wasn't calling her a terrorist-- it's just asking her to use her ownership to advocate for better construction in future vehicles, and reconsider owning the one she has. Boy, it is hard to be too aggrivated having to defend my activism to an SUV owner. Especially one who dances like she has a 3-foot pole up her butt. And the rest of the class took handfuls of "tickets" on the sly before they left. I understand that some people actually need and use off-road vehicles and work hard to not take up more than their fair share of room on the road, carpooling and biking and so forth, but does ANYONE need a car that only gets 10 miles to the gallon? Is that defensible in ANY moral terms, when we are about to resume bombing a country only to get control of their oil reserves?



Anyway, these tickets are WAY fun. I don't ticket any one car twice, and I don't ticket the cars with which I actually don't mind sharing the road- the ones I can see around. I don't ticket in daylight, and I especially look for SUVs with US flags on them.



HERE is the Project Underground web page with PDFs of the wonderful tickets that read (in part):




    VIOLATION: Gas Guzzling Fuels Terrorism and War; Drunk driving puts lives at risk-- and so does driving an SUV. Oil dependence drives conflicts that kill innocent people. Please take a moment to consider the true costs of driving and SUV, and reconsider owning one. [...] Please contact the manufacturer of your SUV today and ask them to build more fuel-efficient vehicles. Contact your elected officials and tell them we should not fight a war for oil.


Project Underground & Global Exchange would be MOST grateful if you asked them to mail you some of their gazillion "tickets" - for free! Just call them at 1-800-497-1994 x 230. And remember...



--- if broccoli was the number one export from the Middle East, we wouldn't be invading Iraq!


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