Monday, May 26, 2003

When One Is Struggling With a Transition From a Nice, Sensible, Phonetically-Spelled Language Back to English




...it occurs to one that English is extraordinarily capricious in its spelling. Fantastical, even. I came home the other night and hit "play" on my answering machine and failed to write down the number for my dentist because her first name is Polly. I spent the entirety of the message trying to spell the word "Polly." I finally crossed my misspellings out and wrote "Dr. Rivas" -- but by then the machine had deleted her message. The next day I called 411 to get her number. By then I had figured out how to spell her name.



These are some of the ways I would have prefered to spell my dentist's first name:




Paulie

Palli

Poli

Poly



Another time when I was flitting back and forth between the sensibly spelled Russian language and whack-a-mole krazy-quilted English I was completely unable to piece together the correct spelling of the word "carousel." My first attempt was karasol. I think I was three paragraphs down the page when the faintest annoyance of a suspicion of error drew me back to check the spelling of the word. I was so out of range of the correct spelling that my spellcheck turned up a complete blank, except for maybe suggesting "kerosene."



I have plenty of witty and insightful things to write about Slovenija and Croatia, really. I just haven't settled back into my loving, snuggly relationship with English yet. I took myself to Borders and got a pile of books--- that was a nice first date. I'll let you know how the romance rekindles.

Friday, May 23, 2003

Aren't We All Russian Teenage Lesbians?



This just sent to me by my friend I'll pseudononymously call AlAl:



Morissey, former singer of The Smiths, who originally wrote and
performed the song "How Soon Is Now?" in 1984 had this to say about
t.A.T.u. in the U.K.'s Word Magazine:


    Word: Did you hear t.A.T.u.'s version of "How Soon Is Now?"

    Morissey: Yes, it was magnificent. Absolutely. Again, I don't know
    much about them.

    Word: They are teenage Russian lesbians.

    Morissey: Well, aren't we all?



Soon come: reportage from my month-long Adriatic Odyssey, when I feel my grasp of English (as opposed to Slovinglish or Croanglish) firming up a little more.

Monday, May 12, 2003

A postcard from the edge of the alps



OK, here is the breakdown.



Croatia and Slovenia are like my first and second born. I cannot choose between them. I could live either place. There is nothing keeping me from moving here except for my job and my cat and about a dozen permanant obligations.


The places they call tourist traps here are what I call comfortable populated and slightly more expensive but still worth a visit. I have not yet (in three weeks of travel around Croatia and Slovenia) found a place I couldn't feel comfortable living.


The queer scene in Croatia is having a renaissance, and I am blessed to have participated in the first ever explicitly queer (as in, not just lesbian) conference held in Croatia. I made contacts with Serbian, Bosnian, Macedonian, and of course Croatian and Slovenian activists who are professional, smart, young,and determined to succeed. The future is bright here.


I will now go back to the edge of Bled, the pristine alpine lake in the south central alps. I will be back on my regular posting schedule in a week.


Stalking on....

Thursday, April 17, 2003

Stalking the Slackerstalker in Slovenia and Croatia



Follow along on your maps, stalkers! I will be gone (maybe entirely) from the interwebs for the next month on an Odyssey, minus fleece but hopefully with sirens.



First Stop: the land of the Bird-handed Girl - Opatija, staying at the Imperial Hotel, inspired by this woman's account of the place. I will dance barefoot on the sand just like Isadora used to.



Second Stop: "Cheers Queers" the queerest spot in the former Yugoslavia for five days - where I'll be a guest of the coolest women's center in the whole of Croatia (it is said). If it's not cool enough I will be at the only youth hostel I could find in the whole city of Zagreb.



Third Stop: Rijeka at this beautiful old (cheap) hotel on the water.



Fourth Stop: Via a former convent in Venice to Florence, with parents in tow. May all our genetic revelations be amusing. We'll be staying at this hotel - I can see why they didn't post an outside view on their website.



Fifth Stop: in beautiful Fiesa and Piran, Slovenia at this sweet little brick number. We will rent a car and drive to a farm where I will ride a Lippizzaner and a town (Lokev) where my parents will ogle old things from wars and stuff. Before or after that we will go sit in hot water.



Sixth Stop: on our way to our hotel in Ljubljana we will stop at the famous Lipica stables where I'm having a riding lesson. Then we're going to the Predjama castle a visit inspired by that site's virtual tour, and by this article where a tourist notes that the noble who lived in the castle fended off troops by tossing roast duck and fresh cherries down at them from the parapets.



Seventh Stop: the unfortunately (for English speakers) named resort town Bled, where they tend to have world conferences on things like suicidology and nervous disorders. And chess. I will be disappointed if we don't make it to Kobarid for the award-winning WW I museum, but this site's virtual tour of the place will make up for it.



Eighth Stop: back to Fiesa and Piran and Portoroz for the maritime festival that has the cyberstyley name "Internautica."



Ninth Stop: brez roditijelej - sans parentals - I will be going to a beautiful place in the western Slovene alps to ride for a few more days before I leave via Ljubljana (and this hostel, the cheapest one I could find) and Prague (where I think I'll be staying in a student dorm- parrrr-ty!).


Hopefully I have not been mislead by the maps and schedules at Euroave.com, Routenet.nl, Trenitalia, the Slovenian bus system site and this little UK-Croatian site.

More From the Genre of Strange Online Tarot Innovations:



The Blogger Tarot - today's card is the High Priestess/ Web Grrrl. I got this in a reading last night, in fact. However, to be correct, I didn't just run into Ani in a deli. We had a long, long string of chance and intentional run-ins on the street and fan-to-starlet chitchats backstage. I was quite the stalker in my day. It started at the Bottom Line (NYC) in January 1992, when I dressed up in my fanciest clothes to sneak in (I was underage) to see Ani open for Two Nice Girls. Ani used to be so, SO enthusiastic to meet her fans. Back when Gretchen Phillips was a diva.


Tuesday, April 15, 2003

She was a Panther before Panthers were Cool.



Born in 1892 Rebecca West (nee Cicily Fairfield) was a socialist, suffragette, and feminist journalist who had an unmarried partnership with HG Wells. Their partnership produced a boy who took his middle name from HG's nickname for Rebecca: Panther.



I'm absorbed in reading her famous 1100-page Yugoslav travelogue Black Lamb, Grey Falcon. She writes in this book like a matron of her time, aged 45 and becoming increasingly reactionary in her cultural tastes (she mentions feeling nausea when she sees a woman perform a male folk dance in male clothing, or when non-Negro dancers perform Nego dances: to her it looks like primitivism, backsliding, viscerally wrong). So she's no great beacon of open-mindedness, but she is a very self-conscious and astute observer of the 1937 Yugoslav state that she's observing. She mournfully add (when the book was printed in 1942) to text where she talks about the Hapsburgs' treatment of Croatia as the worst betrayal ever enacted on a people in Europe the small footnote reminding the reader that it was written in 1937. The book's (1942) dedication is "to my friends in Yugoslavia, who are now all dead or enslaved."


Besides providing rich historical context for my trip (in only five days!) to the former Yugoslavia, she has also given me clues for packing. She and her husband endured a freak snowstorm when she arrived in Zagreb a day before Easter 1937... I arrive two days (and sixty-six years) after she did, so into the pack go the long underwear. Read for yourself a short bio of the fierce, opinionated Rebecca West.


Here's her pouncing controversially on the Habsburgs:


    ?I hate the corpses of empires, they stink as nothing else,? ... ?the Herzegovinians had found that one empire is very like another, that Austria was no better than Turkey.?



And pouncing again-- this time on the assassinated Archduke Franz Ferdinand:

    ?Nobody worked to ensure the murder on either side so hard as the people who were murdered.?


Wednesday, April 09, 2003

You Can't Change the Ocean-- You Can Only Change Your Course



Read about the Tall Ship Semester for Girls-- how cool.


"Girls who might otherwise be hanging in the mall now find themselves hanging in the rigging."



Coming from a San Francisco-based organization, that sounds fairly ominous, but in fact it's completely wholesome and inspiring.


While the US Troops are Busy Planting Evidence of Weapons of Mass Destruction and Scrambling to Explain Their Own Violations of the Rules of Combat...

Like bombing press headquarters...



Take a Break and Enjoy a Little Safe Pre-Stalinist Communist Art


At An Exhibit of Children's Books of the Early Soviet Era.



It reminds me of what I liked about my brief time in the Soviet Union at age 15 in 1989, and in the immediate post-Soviet years 1993-4. For example, the understanding that girl-children can grow up to be great architects -- as taught in a children's book illustration published in 1933.

Friday, April 04, 2003

This Week's Circumlocutory Heavyweight World Championship Belt Goes to...
Unnamed British Official as quoted in this week's Global Development Briefing, for using the word "people" more gently and euphemistically than I've ever, ever seen it used.



Here's the KO:



    "There is a temptation to say why should we be subtle after we weren't supported in the Security Council. We certainly hope people will resist that temptation."



    - An unnamed British official on the likelihood of another acrimonious political battle in the UN Security Council over the administration of Iraq's oil industry after the war, in an interview for The Washington Post. The US Defense Department is reportedly pressing ahead with plans to temporarily manage the industry and use the proceeds to rebuild the country, creating a conflict with US allies in Europe and the Middle East. UN and British officials said the US lacks the legal authority to begin exporting oil even on an interim basis without a new Security Council mandate.




I don't always read through the whole briefing, but the quotes are always special. It's the feature with which they always start their round-up of world events affecting "developing" countries. Subscribe to the (free) Global Development Briefing mailing list here.


Thursday, April 03, 2003

A Contribution to My Collection of Bad Celebrity Poetry, By Donald Rumsfeld.



Yes, he says existential, effusive, poetic things. A journalist just added the line breaks.



A PBS airing of "Blair's War" tonight featured a review of how Rumsfeld fucked up our relationship with Europe: he actually did say that France and Germany are "old Europe" and when we think of Europe today we think a little further East. Like RUSSIA? Russia, who is more and more reluctant to issue visas to US citizens because they just don't want our business anymore? Russia, who was just visiting its ally Saddam Hussein the week before we started bombing, probably making another arms deal?

Today, A Competing Lego Tarot Deck, Would You Believe

Ok, Playmobil, technically, but still. Mystical plastic square bendy figures.



I like the happy smiling blondes chained to the Devil the best.


Wednesday, April 02, 2003

Again Departing From the Hippy Crap Saving the World Stuff

(because it is a lot easier to wake up in the morning sober when I don't watch CNN at 3 am)

To Celebrate the Lego TAROT!



"Not Sanctioned By Lego In Any Way."



The Queen of Swords as Lego-Leia in her sticker-bikini with a lightsaber is my favorite.



Thank you, thank you, thank you, Reasonably Clever. You made my day.



And as Reasonably Clever says: "Please drive safely, offer void in Utah, don't mix old and new batteries."

Monday, March 31, 2003

Enough Anti-War Linkage to Choke a Hippo



Copied from my bay area lez-bi women's mailing list. Just too nicely already put in HTML code to resist reposting.



Off the KPFA website:



ANTI-WAR / CALL FOR ACTION INFO

Direct action to atop the war

http://www.actagainstwar.org/

Getting naked for peace

http://www.baringwitness.org/

Boycott companies who support Bush's administration

http://www.bethecause.org/writers/articles/nowar.shtml

California Peace Action

http://www.californiapeaceaction.org/

Human Shield Mission to Iraq

http://www.humanshields.org/

International ANSWER (Act Now to Stop War and End Racism) - analysis,
reports, rally logistical info

http://www.internationalANSWER.org/

Iranian-American Community (IACUS) website

http://members.aol.com/iaczine/

Mothers Acting Up - mobilizing the political strength of mothers

http://www.mothersactingup.org/

The MoveOn - email bulletin, lots of info

http://www.moveon.org/

Not in Our Name - activities against war and repression

http://www.notinourname.net

Not in Our Name (SF) Bay Area Calendar

http://www.notinourname.net/~bayarea/

Oxfam/UK's petition to Tony Blair

http://www.oxfam.org.uk/campaign/cutconflict/action/iraq.html


Patriotic Americans who believe unprovoked war will increase human suffering

http://www.patriotsforpeace-ca.org/

Easy Online Activism

http://www.progressiveportal.org

Stop bomb production in Tennessee

http://www.stopthebombs.org/

Tools for influencing peaceful resolutions

http://stopthewarcentral.com

Ben and Jerri's grassroots education

http://www.truemajority.org/

Full spectrum awareness and raw truth broadcasting

http://www.truth-now.com

United for Peace and Justice

http://www.unitedforpeace.org

Vote No to War - educational campaign of International A.N.S.W.E.R.

http://www.votenowar.org/

Details on impeachment of President Bush and other officers

http://www.votetoimpeach.org

California law students voice dissent

http://www.wakeupaboutthewar.org/

Mainstream voice advocating alternatives to pre-emptive war against Iraq

http://www.winwithoutwarus.org/



ANTI-WAR ACTION / Location-specific sites
North (SF) Bay/Napa Valley

http://www.napavalleypeacetable.com

Fresno Center for Nonviolence - advocacy organization
http://www.peacefresno.org/

Sacramento-Yolo peace action

http://www.sacpeace.org

Peace and Justice Center of Sonoma County

http://www.sonic.net/~peacentr/



ARTISTS WORKING FOR PEACE & SOCIAL JUSTICE

California College of Arts and Crafts -free downloadable peace posters

http://www.anotherposterforpeace.com

Encouraging critical thought and dialog on vital issues
http://www.fineartsmilitia.com

Musicians United to Win Without War

http://www.moveon.org/musiciansunited/

Artists for peace, justice, civil liberties - gallery, anthology

http://www.TAParts.org



CENSORSHIP / CONSTITUTIONAL ISSUES

Electronic Frontier Foundation - defending freedom in the digital world

http://www.eff.org



ENVIRONMENTAL ISSUES

Visionary and practical solutions for restoring the earth

http://www.bioneers.org



MEDIA / NEWS / ANALYSIS

American foreign policy and the Arab & Muslim worlds

http://www.aljazeerah.info/

Cedric Muhammad's daily news and analysis

http://www.blackelectorate.com/

Breaking news and views for the progressive community

http://www.commondreams.org/

Political newsletter by Alexander Cockburn & Jeffrey St. Claire

http://www.counterpunch.org/

Democracy Now! with Amy Goodman

http://www.democracynow.org

Fairness and Accuracy in Reporting

http://www.fair.org

KPFA's Flashpoints investigative news radio magazine

http://www.flashpoints.net

Free Speech Radio News

http://www.fsrn.org

Columnist for UK's Observer

http://www.gregpalast.com/

KPFA's Hard Knock Radio

http://www.hardknockradio.com

Independent Media Center main site with links to all other Indy Media centers

http://www.indymedia.org/

New York City independent media

http://www.indypendent.org/

Regular reports from Iraq by Democracy Now!'s Jeremy Scahill

http://www.iraqjournal.org/

KPFA's Living Room

http://www.livingroomradio.org

Training/resources for media, community organizations, political activists

http://www.media-alliance.org/

Pacifica network & stations

http://www.pacifica.org

http://www.kpfa.org - Berkeley

http://www.kfcf.org - Fresno, broadcasts

KPFA signal to the Central Valley

http://www.kpfk.org - Los Angeles

http://www.kpft.org - Houston

http://www.wbai.org - New York

http://www.wpfw.org - DC

Project Censored - tracking media's self-censoring of the news

http://www.projectcensored.org/

SF Bayview/Hunters Point newspaper

http://www.sfbayview.com/

Info and analysis biweekly reports

http://www.war-times.org

World events, issues, and cultures

http://www.worldlinktv.org



POLICY ANALYSIS

Information and int'l policy analysis

http://www.ciponline.org/



SOCIAL JUSTICE / PRISON / HUMAN RIGHTS

Human rights abuses within the US criminal justice system

http://www.ellabakercenter.org



YIPES

BBC article on Jewish settlers offering 'terror tours'

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/2821391.stm

"we need to accept responsibility for America's unique role in preserving and
extending an international order friendly to our security, our prosperity,
and our principles."

http://www.newamericancentury.org



Now get clicking, slackers!


Friday, March 28, 2003

Departing from the Hippy Crap Saving the World Stuff for a Moment to Ponder

...why I don't mind that Ta.Tu. is using lezzie identities to sell their albums.



So, SlackerStalker, why?


Because they are drawing lesbophobic fire, getting censored, and putting lez-affirming images in front of mainstream people the same as real lezzies, regardless of who ACTUALLY turns them on.



It's nice to see that Rex Wockner has lightened up a bit on his tone of "but but but but they ARE STRAIGHT" (helloooo- anyone hear of bisexuality? Anyone?) because they seem to have boyfriends at the moment. Here is his latest article about them (all typos, word choices, etc. his own):




    =======================

    INTERNATIONAL NEWS #463

    March 10, 2003

    by Rex Wockner

    wockner@panix.com

    =======================

    --> KNIFE MAN LUNGES AT t.A.T.u.



    A knife-wielding man lunged at the Russian
    lesbian-themed band t.A.T.u. during a concert in the
    Czech Republic in late February.



    Bodyguards tackled the man as he headed for singers
    Julia Volkova, 18, and Lena Katina, 17.



    According to Sky News, the girls have had bottles and
    a knife thrown at them in the past as they performed.



    "There have been incidents but there is no point
    worrying that you are going to get killed when you go
    on stage," said Volkova.



    The girls' current single, "All The Things She Said,"
    has hit No. 1 around the world and the video has been
    banned by Britain's BBC and ITV1 because Julia and
    Lena passionately kiss and make out throughout the
    clip.



    The girls have repeatedly suggested they are lovers,
    but Russian journalists claim both have boyfriends
    whom they keep hidden so as not to endanger the band's
    lesbian image, which is seen as advantageous.



    Speaking to the British lesbian magazine Diva in its
    March issue, Katina stated: "So you want to hear that
    we are sleeping together, that we are fucking every
    night? Of course we do!"



    Later, she said: "This is the message [of our video]:
    We wanted to say that everybody shouldn't be afraid of
    their feelings. If it's real feeling, why not? If you
    love, it doesn't matter if girl loves girl, or boy
    love boy or something, or girl love boy. It's just
    love and we shouldn't be afraid of this crowd's
    opinions. Stupid things."



    "t.A.T.u." is an abbreviated form of the Russian
    phrase "that girl loves that girl" ("Ta lyubit tu").
    The band is Russia's most successful pop act ever.




Now, I don't know what Rex means when he says that last bit, but I expect he means in terms of money. One of the very most popular acts of recent years is Zemfira, someone who sends everyone's gaydar off the charts, but who keeps her private life private. Here's hoping that Ta.Tu's success will create space for our beloved Zemfira to finally come out.


And P.S.-- someone on one of my lez-bi community mailing lists was holding against them that Ta.Tu wants to pose for Playboy as soon as they are both 18. As though that proves that they are straight. Whatever. I subscribe to Playboy, not Off Our Backs (*!) (anymore), because Playboy gave me a free subscription. So, bring it on, Ta.Tu. babes! At least one lezzie chick will be grateful!

(*!) Of course I meant "On Our Backs" not "Off Our Backs." I forgot: OFF our backs = anti-sex, ON our backs = pro sex. It is a bottom's world, isn't it?

Wednesday, March 26, 2003

Stalking the Streets




So the amazing spectacle of Thursday the 27th with its mass protests around San Francisco gave way to Friday, with its extremely overpaid on overtime and overexcited police force complete with rubber bullets and riot shields. I was a sideline witness to the 'Franklin Street Sweep' but didn't learn about what happened to my friends in the 'Sweep' until Monday. I was on my merry way to a queer affinity group gathering in the Castro, and since I was late I didn't linger to find out what the hell was going on with the police influx around the intersection of Hayes and Franklin. Turns out everyone was rounded up, even people on the sidewalk trying to comply with police directives, and arrested for failing to disperse. They were held for six hours and released with a warning to stay off the streets for 48 hours, or risk jail time if they again fail to disperse (i.e. stand on the sidewalk near a police officer).



Here is an account of the 'Franklin Street Sweep' by a SlackerStalker correspondent in the field:



    The group we were in was walking peacefully on Franklin Street when the cops surrounded us on all sides. They did this by forming a phallanx and running at us from behind so that we were trapped in the interior of a block where we couldn't leave. There were cops on all sides of us then. We were then squeezed in from all sides by at least 200 cops in a circle around us, not unlike how fish are caught by pulling the nets in from all sides at once.



    The cops charged at us with their billy clubs braced in both arms while screaming at us to "MOVE! Get out of the way!". One cop shoved an older disabled man with a cane down so hard that he was bleeding from his head and knee. He needed to be taken to the hospital for treatment by ambulance. Linda saw another cop repeatedly shove a man on a bike, even though the man had complied immediately with his orders. Two very over-the-top reactions that just the two of us witnessed. Who knows how many other acts of police misconduct were observed by other people?



    I also watched as press people were denied access to the area that we had been corralled into (a city block). One cop stood directly in front of a camera crew so that they couldn't film the scene. I also noticed that the highway patrol helicopters cricling above kept news helicopters from entering the airspace above our block. It was a news blackout. Freedoms of the press are also going out the window as well, it seems...



Meanwhile, late to the gathering in the Castro, I heard that the protestors who had been starting to try to block Van Ness and Market (apparently an anarchist affinity group that ran away from the 'Sweep' just in time) had been dispersed with rubber bullets as soon as they occupied the intersection. So, when our little fringe protest hit an intersection, we were careful to stay to the side of the road or on the sidewalk, and cross with the lights. We were trailed by an entourage of about eight cop cars and caught glimpses of a few city buses full of cops in riot gear circling the neighborhood. They tried to anticipate our route and we just randomly chose a direction at every intersection.



I marched and chanted and sung for four hours over at least as many miles. The police effectively blocked every intersection we encountered and almost every street we flanked, so nobody had to leave the sidewalk and get arrested-- the cops did our work for us! As we neared downtown the eight squad cars were joined by about a dozen motorcycles, and still later about fifteen cops in riot gear jogging alongside us. By the end of the night they looked neither aggro nor scared, just bored and exhausted.



Meantime our mood was both conscientious and bouyant. It was such a relief to do something besides watch the news. My friends and I walked with a woman with an enormous white shaggy sweet boydog named August who was wearing a pink sign "Puppies for Peace." Nearby was a mom with a gaggle of six or seven young (10 or 11 year old) kids, who we had picked up as we passed Mission High School. They led us in the Spanish language version of "The People United Will Never Be Defeated." One of the kids looked JUST like Harry Potter, so we nicknamed their crew the Harry Potter For Peace contingent. You get the picture-- we were pretty upbeat. The whole thing was very therapeutic-- especially having the citybus drivers and ambulance crews honking and waving the peace sign gesture at us as we passed them. My favorite chant was what I think is a modified soccer/football singing chant: "no war, no war, o-way owayowayowaaaaay." That was what we were singing as we hit the high point of the night, turning from Market onto Castro and picking up a whole new crew of marchers and getting a great welcome from the sidewalk passersby.



Now it is time for...

The SlackerStalker Guide to Late Night Urban Unpermitted Protest Marches

A supplement to The Slacker Stalker's Rules for Marching in a Mob Against Something (click and scroll down past the list of sign slogans).


1. Remember that at night everything is gray-scale and reduced to shapes and movement. Your pretty signage on sticks is wasted. Costumes, sandwichboard signs (for up-close reading), and flags are good. Flags give shape, movement, and drama to the movement of people through the street at night. It almost doesn't matter what is on the flag, if anything. If you are stuck marching with a sign on a stick, look for the police searchlights and TV cameras with their nuclear-powered gazillion-watt floodlights: they will pick up your message. ESPECIALLY if it is a TV helicopter-- turn your sign facing the sky and I guarantee they will try to focus in on you. Soundmakers are good too-- a little boombox with a CD of Mumia's statements against war is a nice choice.



2. BYO lighting. Flashlights, yes. Torches, no.



3. BYO entourage. Dogs and kids, yes, but keep an eye on them even if they aren't yours.



4. Get more mileage out of yourself with a little personal care and vocal chord maintenance. Chapstick, gum, bottled water, and the multipurpose cloth bandana or a handful of tissues, yes. Excess baggage, or even ANY baggage-- no.



5. Communicating with non-marchers is a must. Flashing the "peace" sign at passing motorists-- the minimum. Light-hearted taunting of people in restaurants (i.e. the particularly enjoyable friendly chanting of "Americans Out of Baghdad" to the customers at the Bagdad Cafe on Market Street)-- good. Beckoning seductively and chanting "join us"-- better. Cheering and blowing kisses to the people being arrested or standing in detention areas-- an absolute must. If you have propoganda promoting your cause then handing it out to passers-by is usually more effective at night. People on the streets are more likely to take propoganda handed to them by strangers at night than in broad daylight. Go figure.



6. So you have a bullhorn. Point that thing as high as you can away from eardrums that may be at your usual screaming height. Thank you.



7. So you don't want to get arrested. Either way, carry some form of ID, and a good pen. If it looks like you're falling into a police trap, find someone (try the guy with the bullhorn) with the number for your local Legal Aid firm and write it on your arm. Hook arms with the people near you and go limp as the police try to arrest you. This is the only way to try to guarantee they won't charge you with resisting arrest. Standing up too quickly can be construed by a nervous cop as a pretext for a good billyclubbing. And remember: smile in your mugshots. You don't need to look guilty. You never know when you'll be running for public office!



8. So you want to get arrested. Don't have enough activist cred doing the legal thing? Then follow the advice in #7 but, since you are planning ahead to get arrested, wear wristwarmers. 80's fashion rebound to the rescue! The plastic handcuffs will be loosened by any wrist apparatus you can manage to keep on. Then, when you have gotten a little leeway, retrieve the toenail clippers you stashed in your front pocket and snip yourself and your friends free.



9. Have sex. I heard this story from a credible source and an eyewitness to the San Francisco protests of the 1991 Gulf War One. A pier the cops were using as temporary holding for protestors was full of young gay men. They all had their fancy plastic wrist ties on, but that didn't stop them. They decided to start trying to have sex. It was turning into a full-fledged orgy (I guess the wrist ties were working for them). The cops were so weirded out they decided to let them go.



10. Eat fire. It is really a bummer to know how to eat fire but mostly end up protesting things in the daylight, when fire-eating is a lost cause. Here you are sticking hot stuff in your mouth and all you get for it is a fume high. So, when you know you'll be taking to the streets after dark, take:
  • a lighter

  • a small coffee can (with lid) with at least a cup of rubbing alcohol or lighter fluid

  • a metal coat hanger

  • and a 10" strip of old cotton t-shirt fabric




     Tie the fabric into a tight little swab on the end of the straightened hanger wire, soak it in the fluid, light it, STAND FACING DOWNWIND, tip your head as far back as possible, hold the wire swab-down perpendicular (i.e. at a 90 degree angle) to your face, open wide, dip it in, lightly close your lips on it (not all the way) and exhale through your mouth. Voila. Impresses the ladies. It is especially impressive if you wear some kind of message on your body (may I suggest painting slogans on naked torsos? Is that too Lesbian Avengerish of me?).

Saturday, March 22, 2003

Wishing For Ignorance


An interview with a journalist on the radio just now-- not KPFA (I had to take a break, they were listing the military affinities of my city's mayor Jerry Brown- letting the military conduct urban combat training in Oakland- it was too painful to remember)-- on NPR-- the journalist was talking about the reality of the civilian casualties, and the furious reactions of soldiers' families who have lost their children to Bush's war. He said that one US pilot pointed out that in Gulf War One not all pilots had been wearing night vision goggles. Now they are all wearing them. He's not sure it is better for them to wear them, because it allows them to see what they are doing perfectly.



I was a teenage firebrand in Northern New York on a science field trip to Fort Drum (the division that invaded Afghanistan first, and the largest land training grounds on the East Coast, and when I lived there also the base with the highest DWI, suicide, and domestic abuse rates). They handed me the new fangled night vision goggles, a toy we could play with for a few minutes as they got our MRE's together for our picnic lunch. It was spring of 1990, about seven months before we attacked Iraq the first time. The whole world turned eerie green. I imagined stealing the goggles... I didn't. Who is holding them, who is watching the streets of Baghdad through such goggles, who is looking into the other end of them, I don't want to know. I just don't want to know.


Friday, March 21, 2003

An Interesting Arrest Tally



If you want to catch up on how many protestors shutting down San Francisco have been arrested so far, and what intersections have just been shut down (they are still shutting them down), check out the ongoing updated coverage at the San Francisco Bay Area Independent Media Center.



Tonight (home sick) I saw the coolest and most inspiring local TV coverage I've ever seen. Not the TV commentators, scared and looking terribly confused about why people would be grieving and angry and acting out. The people, people, people in the streets.

A Fascinating Raed



An Iraqi engineer's blog. A friend's name (or pseudonym) is Raed, and the title of the blog right now is "Where is Raed?" Our blogger, his friend Raed, and his family are still in Baghdad. It's Friday there now but he has no Friday blog yet. He has a great quote up on one of his side banners right now:



    The West won the world not by the superiority of its ideas or values or religion but rather by its superiority in applying organized violence. Westerners often forget this fact, non-Westerners never do.


    -- Samuel P. Huntington


Wednesday, March 19, 2003

Hippie Crap Saves the World aka The Earth is Crammed with Heaven



Today some of my witch friends have been quoting the wisdom our local Bay Area astro-guru Rob Brezsny, the only biological man I've ever seen effectively (and stunningly so) lead a Pagan ritual prayer entirely by himself. He's also a Cancer like me, so his insight on the stars is tailor-made for me. Click on his name above to read Painful Blessings -- his very eloquent statement on the state of the world and the nearness of war and the necessity of inner fire. He is determined to recenter us on desire.



Also, scroll down, look on the right, and you'll find a letter from a Brezsny fan about another Brezsny fan-- Rachel Corrie, the woman who died this past Sunday trying to save the home of a Palestinian doctor. The tank driver claimed he didn't see her. She died with a bull horn in hand screaming Desist!



Rachel's Brezsny horoscope for this week:




    "It's a perfect moment to overcome your fear of revealing your raw beauty to the world..."





There is a lot of raw beauty left to be revealed to the Israeli government. And ours.

Monday, March 17, 2003

A Pause From Your Busy Schedule Stressing About the War to Appreciate Terry Jones of Monty Python



Some worthwhile anti-war fluff.



Links to an Observer article about Terry's justification for blowing up his block, and a new Observer article by Terry about poor Mr. Blair not getting any of the lucrative development contracts for rebuilding Iraq:



I'm losing patience with my neighbours, Mr Bush





Poor Tony Blair Wakes Up