New Feature: George's Best Ringlish This Week

Several points of my coworker George's weekly report were outstandingly cobbled-together. Including one point that he, for some reason, included, but censored. You don't need to know the context of his work to enjoy his Ringlish, and his lack of a sense of appropriate use of the weekly report format. I do not get his use of quotes at all, from a Russian or English perspective. But I can still enjoy those. His ability to brag about his computer skills remains intact, despite all his lack of language skills, or good sense in general (he "penetrated"? a board?). Is he trying to predict an invasion of Russia by the US there in the end? It's like reading Nostradamus, isn't it?

- "Penetrated" the TRN board. Felt sorry for Solveig, the coordinator of TRN conference.

- Fully reloaded my computer (which is a useful thing to do at least once a
year)

- CENSORED

- Thought about those three terrorist acts in Russia last week (two airplane crashes and a bomb blow at a buss stop in Moscow) and about Russian perspectives. Adepts of Euro-Asian exceptionality say that Russia's fight against terrorism has nothing in common with the American one. Adepts of Anglo-Saxon Supremacy support the idea strongly. Russian society instability increases. Russia moves simultaneously in four opposite directions [It is not spreading, but shrinking in four separate spills, the size of each will determine Russia's future.]:
(1) building open democratic society,
(2) restoring imperial dictatorial ambitions,
(3) Africanization, when raw materials are the only source of revenue, and
(4) planning to improve living standards.

This physics law violation (simultaneous movement in the conflicting directions) is possible in Russia due to overrating of administrative governing and people's failure to speak out. We need to communicate more and convince further about world-wide problems. Russians are open for our communication yet and we should wrap it in a good way. Though this "Country of Unpredictable Future" owns the world second WMD arsenal and has the next after Saudis oil reserve volume, I hope the policy of preventive strike will not prevail. [We have a "wounded ant" in Iraq. We do not want to deal with a "wounded bear."] We have many common problems to resolve together with Russia.

Useless Fact for the Day

Old news, I know, but I can't resist. Available on about a million useless fact web pages.

Until 1965, driving was done on the left-hand side on roads in Sweden. The conversion to right-hand was done on a week day at 5 pm. All traffic stopped as people switched sides. This time and day were chosen to prevent accidents where drivers would have gotten up in the morning and been too sleepy to realize this was the day of the changeover.

As a part-Swede I can see myself thinking that this was a good plan.

The Fish Are Losing Their Affect

I know it is bad blogging ettiquette to quote a whole article from a news source, but I cannot for the life of me find this on the Washington Post website at the moment, so here you go. Fish on Antideps.

Drugs Found in Fish Samples
Science Notes
Washington Post
August 30, 2004

Antidepressants, birth control drugs and other medications are surfacing in fish tissue and are in some cases causing neurological, biochemical and physiological changes, according to Baylor University researchers.

Bryan Brooks, assistant professor of environmental studies at Baylor University's Center for Reservoir and Aquatic Systems Research, said his findings mark the first time researchers have documented drugs building up in organisms that reside in streams that receive large amounts of wastewater from municipal sources.

Brooks focused on effluent-dominated streams and rivers in Texas, where he and his researchers performed forensic tests on fish and invertebrates. In Waco alone, he said in a statement, about 12 million gallons of treated water a day are pumped into the Brazos River, which pours into the Gulf of Mexico.

"When male fish are exposed to critical levels of estrogen, they can be feminized and their secondary sexual characteristics become suppressed," he said. "We're also seeing antidepressants building up in fish tissue at high enough levels that may trigger behavioral changes" in the fish.

But he cautioned that more study is needed to determine whether the fish are suffering adverse consequences.

A buildup of antidepressants can modulate neurotransmitters such as serotonin, dopamine and norepinephrine in fish, Brooks said.

No Environmental Protection Agency regulations govern the level of pharmaceuticals in discharged water.

Meet Blame India Watch

Every once in a while I go check on what my blog-mother Laura is up to. She got me blogging, so I should read her site more, you know, call home sometimes, send flowers. I could at LEAST link to her. But I am too lazy.

Meanwhile. Her old primary site Interesting Monstah has been chilling out for a while, I find, because she's got a hot new site Blame India Watch about the move to blame outsourcing for labor abuses and shortages at home, rather than bad economic policy or foreign policy. Clickez vous and enjoy.

My Favorite Champion of Ringlish Speaks

He emerges from the tundra woods swinging a scaly worm above his head and ululating... an elaborate Mongolian warrior cry echoing among San Francisco's three or four skyscrapers...

This is my coworker Georgii-- or "George" to me. Sort of to spite him when I'm writing in Russian I transliterate it "Djordj." I'm more comfortable (and quite frankly more clear about what we're talking about) if we're both speaking Russian, but he insists on cramping along in English when we speak.

Here below, for your entertainment, is the final bullet point from his most recent weekly report. This is not a snippet of one of his classic-- nay, epic-- missteps, or even his most muscular floridity-- I just think you can hear some of the poetry of Russian still clinging to his words like cheap cigar smoke on a threadbare polyester pantsuit:

Has killed the Sasser Worm in my home computer. Though, it does not
relate directly to the work, it was joyful fun. The worm practically blackmails; it commands to download an update from Internet (pretending to be your computer's system), otherwise it shuts down your computer in 60 seconds (and does so). Any reasonable person should show a finger to the worm's commands and Microsoft's webpage provides arms to kill the worm successfully.

This is a special-ity of George's, the flamboyant destruction of a technological foe. Now that we're doing these weekly reports I hope I can offer you spectacular feats of Ringlish as a regular feature. Here's hoping.

Woo Hoo - I now know someone who's been reviewed on Lesbi.ru!

Here's to my friend Sonja Franeta's book "Pink* Flamingos" getting reviewed on Lesbi.ru! "Pink" is a slang term for lesbian (a little old-school, but still understood). The first Russian-speaking dyke group I was ever in was called "the Pinks," in Seattle.

I raise a virtual shot glass of vodka and say-- here's to non-Russian Russian-speaking lesbians and their Russophilic creative produce!

Sonja interviewed a range of Siberian queers over a period of time, capturing the interviews on film and tape. They are finally put together in this book, taking you to a world that has been little known, even to Russian LGBT activists, even those living in Siberia.

I think it interesting that it took a 2nd-generation Croat-American to complete this project. Having hung out a certain amount with Croatians in Croatia, they barely consider Russia or Russians relevant to any discussion of their own history or language. It's like they are some distant cousin, something like how the Mongolians might discuss the Navajo-- as though they were disconnected in pre-history.

As much as I love researching my own US/Swedish/Welsh/British culture, and Sonja loves Croatia, Sonja and I both find Russia- for whatever crazy reason- a country more compelling than the ones our families came from. I hope we are better at documenting without idealizing or proselytizing.

In another funny permutation of people working for not their own, this last time I was in Russia there was a funny moment with a straight US Irish-Catholic guy, myself (as aformentioned a US-mutt, and a queer Pagan), and a Ukrainian Christian lesbian were sitting around in the hip cafe "The Idiot" in St. Petersburg trying to figure out the funding for a new Jewish queer group that we thought should exist. We were very stoked about our new idea, picking up steam through a bottle of Georgian white wine. It remains to be seen if our Jewish queer friends are interested in putting themselves that much in the public bullseye for ridicule and abuse.

That said, I think the Siberian queers will be very grateful to have Sonja's book, available here for only $4.91, or the reasonable price of 142 roubles.

I love him because...

Last Night Jon Stewart Used the Word "Sylph"

...to describe the Statue of Liberty. I.E. "America's Favorite Sylph."

So. I dragged out the dictionary from under the light coating of tabby cat hair and dust.

According to this on-line medical dictionary it is an ornithological term as well as entomological.

But what interests me the most is that according to my own dictionary its original meaning was from Paracelsus, meaning a specifically mortal, soulless spirit of the air, a blend of nymph and sylva (forest).

Wikipedia adds a Pope and Milton gloss for the term.

So the Statue of Libery stands high in the air, as though she commands the element. Very graceful, Jon, my favorite midnight bard-of-truth.

Aha, All is Explained

Why the Phonecian's Religious Affiliation Matters to Some People

My new favorite math site's author was punished with religion at a formative age, and came out of it a math scholar, with a strong personal wariness about Judeo-Christian beliefs. But yet, she gives them the knowledge of Pi. She is a bigger man than I.

Cubits and Handbreadths and Charismatic Megafauna, Oh My

Down With Charismatic Megafaunism!

I have been in student mode lately, learning a new job, and learning (relearning) elementary algebra.

My favorite new term I learned this past week in my job is "Charismatic Megafauna," commonly referring to the WWF panda and its ilk (lions, tigers, bears, baby seals, oracas, and sometimes whales), being the means by which most people find a way to give a hoot about the expiration of the planet.

As in, "we could have saved that watershed if it had any charismatic megafauna, but all it had was salmon."

There is a great deal of sublimated hostility toward the charismatic-megafaunistic approach to environmental protection. In someone's office here I once saw the crossbar & circle "no" symbol photoshopped over a WWF panda logo.

In my spare time when I'm not protecting the petulant microfauna, I'm currently trying to get a comfortable grip on linear equations.

It's about time someone took the Phonecians' side.

Looking for some on-line assistance with the order of operations in solving linear equations, I found this neat little corner of the math world evaluating the Phonecian understanding of Pi, as expressed in cubits and handbreadths.

I'm not sure why the author is so sensitive about finding some mathematical truth in the Bible, or why s/he thinks (or s/he thinks someone thinks) it's so awful to connect the Phonecians with the Jews, but clearly s/he's writing in defense of the Phonecians. With some passion, I might add. It's about time...?

Make Goals Not War

From the Global Development Briefing this week:

LAST WEEK, we noted that a most unusual soccer game is set to take place in Haiti. Brazil, which deployed 1,200 peacekeeping troops in the troubled Caribbean island nation in June to replace outgoing U.S. troops, has already handed out 1,000 free footballs. Next month, the Brazilian national team is scheduled to play a "friendly" against Haiti. We asked what the price of admission to the football match will be and what Brazil hopes to achieve. Answer: the price of admission is handing over a weapon and Brazil hopes to help disarm rival Haitian militas, relieve tension and ultimately help prepare the country for elections by 2005. As reader Jim Anderson notes, Haitian interim Prime Minister Latortue has said that a few Brazilian soccer stars could do more to disarm warring militias than thousands of peacekeeping troops.

This has got to be one of the most creative solutions I've ever heard to the problem of gun proliferation.

Here's some more information on the upcoming match from Sports Illustrated.

Don't you think they could do something like this to disarm Oakland with a "friendly" between the Raiders and 49ers?

Going Back to Bukhara

The poor young journalist/ government critic - Ruslan Sharipov - for whom I used to professionally advocate - on Friday went to his mother's home town Bukhara to do "community service" and relinquish 25% of his nonexistent salary. This is in exchange for his freedom from serving a 4 year sentence on false charges under the Uzbekistan anti-sodomy laws.

He should have been unconditionally released from all charges, since they have no evidence, and he has refugee status and intends to leave the country as soon as he can. They want to get him to stop organizing people in Uzbekistan-- they should just let him go! He sent his mother away (she sold her apartment in Bukhara and packed up her one son remaining at home and moved to Sacramento, California this past December) because he feared for her life. The government threatened to kill her, and tortured him. So I don't think he wants to stay.

I can only imagine what their vision of "community service" might be.

Here
is the Reporters Without Borders press release that just came out today announcing his "community service" sentence.

Here is a June 15th "Advocate" article based on a phone interview with Ruslan from his most recent prison in Tashkent.

If anyone wants to write letters for him you can find addresses here.

Still Stalking

I'm sorry, stalkettes, for being so slack on my stalking of late. Since January I have been robbed twice, and since April I've gone to Russia (where I got robbed a third time, btw), got laid off (losing my health insurance), got my identity stolen, had my adopted grandmother die and *her* property stolen, got a new job, and since I got notice I didn't make it into grad school, I've gotten myself into an algebra course to try and prepare for another stab at the GRE. I am still bellydancing (and performing), managing a spoken-word production series, and learning Latin with a tutor. I'm also stalking the Giants and the A's, and trying to take part in the "Pride" festivities that come swinging at your head ever year in June. If that wasn't enough, I have a girlfriend, and a tabbycat, and they both demand time. So, you see, stalking for your sake, dear reader, has been limited. The goslings have gone neglected too, so don't feel singled-out for neglect.

The good news is that I now have ANOTHER job which accommodates stalking, i.e. has DSL and research opportunities. I'm managing two websites: ECA Watch, keeping track of Export Credit Agencies and their nefarious deeds and (I just found out yesterday) also the Bering Sea Forum. It is nice to finally learn how to spell "Bering."

I'm also working on stalking corporate puppets who use ill-gotten credit from places like ECAs to fund nasssssty projects like Sakhalin 2, a natural gas and oil plant that is still being built, but which is already causing a long litany of woes for the locals (a 22-point list, written by someone who used to support the plant, which I translated last week).

The new manager of the plant is someone who was *just* hired, and who has now had this waaay over-budget (by 30%) mess of a project, with overtones of illegality, dumped in his ickle British lap. The he sits, on a cold, Russian island-- a dark, isolated, fragile, seismically active, cold Russian island-- with the salmon choking in the debris from underwater drilling, the whales running for their lives, the locals blockading roads...

Anyhoo, I'm supposed to try to get a high seed for the web page describing him and his messy project on Google searches for "Ian Craig." I forget what this is called. It's got a name.

Well, I need to do it to this poor Ian Craig guy, formerly of Shell Oil Malaysia, formerly of Shell Oil UK, where he formerly worked for Enterprise Oil, a friendly little offshore oil corporation that got bought up by big bully Shell... and so he, with the face of a constipated croquet player, was led down the dark path to Sakhalin Energy.

So, if you want to help push the page with Ian's list of crimes up on the Google search results, please click here ("Ian Craig") or paste this URL:

http://www.eca-watch.org/problems/russia/iancraig.html

...into a link somewhere on your own web page.

Thanks for helping incite the sedition. You know -- as your mother use to say-- it's not going to incite itself!

In Memorium: Valentina Mikhailovna Dezelin (neé Stakhova)

b. February 23, 1899, the Crimea under the Empire of Russia
d. May 24, 2004, California under the United States

She lived four lifetimes by the standards of her time. She lived on three continents. She lost three husbands. She changed nationality three times. She survived at least four wars. She spoke at least four languages. She never left the church (Russian Orthodox or Eastern Orthodox), but the church often left her, including during the years a crooked, charming priest took her power of attorney and what money he could get from her, and nobody stopped him. The church also abandoned her when she went in a nursing home, never sending help, visitors, or comforting cards; most hurtful to me, after her death, a long-absent acquaintance from her most recent church scheduled her memorial and burial without consulting with me or waiting for me, her adopted great-granddaughter, and the person most and longest involved in her ongoing care. I returned from Russia on Thursday, and she was buried on Friday morning. I found out about the burial through constant phone calling, and made it to the church in time to place a kiss on her cheek before they closed the coffin, screwed the box into the hearse, and then lowered her into a Serbian Orthodox Cemetary hole while a nearby cement truck engine chugged an unrepentant proletarian drumroll.

Here's a memorial to you, and your namesake, Martyr Valentina.

You will always be remembered, you classy, tough, smart, amazing old lady.

Privet from Sir Novgorod the Great-- Russia

Pobloguju... I'm writing a little blog entry from Novgorod, Russia - Velikii Novgorod now. I have just reviewed with my good friend Sergei two years of his finds on the local WW2 battlefields with his friends, shovels, and GPS. Of late he's been researching the wartime aerodromes and airplane wrecks through interviews and photography around the area in the small ... I mean extinct... little villages around the battlefields. It is just amazing what he's found... including a German pilot, complete with rosary and glasses. The stories of the non-heroic behavior by Soviet soldiers, and the crazy methods they used to operate in the battlefields, as retold by old men who were 12 years old, hiding in the bushes around the aerodromes. He's been researching and digging up tanks and things since 1989, and boy does he have a collection...

Anyway, the jet lag and ongoing marathon of chai and blinni and vino and balzam and on top of that catching up with everyone has gotten me hollow-eyed and slightly dizzy with overwhelm. I haven't even made it to the local kremlin, for the full nostalgaic effect. My English is also slipping, but never mind, I had a double degree, I don't need that English degree... the Russian degree is serving me very well.

What's amazing besides what changes in 10 years since I lived here is what doesn't change. Someone puts on a little weight, but the personality stays the same. Someone else breaks his leg and turns into a person with a handicap (an "invalid" here) but he still has the same old drinking problem. Another gets uterine cancer and lives with a colostomy bag but she still works through all my grammatical errors and makes sure I understand why I need to correct that accent...

And the konjushnja, the horse stable where I rode here, has moved so that it is right next to where I'm staying... and the young people there are still jumping huge fences on huge gorgeous horses...

Don't worry, those of you who still read this and wonder where I am and if I'm coming home, I still have a return ticket and I intend to use it. I'm just very, very, very far away from San Francisco.

Poka,
SS

Good God Goslings!

The lake by my house -- the unique brackish urban estuary of Lake Merritt -- is presently gosling-rich.

There are three families of two adults with goslings in the number of 5, 9 (the eldest clan, almost showing adult feather color in their tails), and the youngest clan-- 19. 19-uplets. Today the 19 formed the shape of the shadow of an elegant old lantern-style streetlight that is at the southern edge of the lake. It was very hot. They were squished so compactly into the shape of the shadow that if the sun had gone behind a cloud (yeah, I know, California-- what cloud?!) there would have been an Installation of Streetlight-Shaped Pile of Goslings there on the beach.

I stood there staring trying to wrap my brain around this cuteness like a mushu pancake around a pile of filling when someone thought it was a good idea to run to the lake to drink a little brackish afternoon tea. The entire flock of 19 flapped its useless sets of wings and ran after the first thirsty one and then the installation was destroyed, and everyone was standing in the water a little stunned to be in the sun again. The parent geese didn't say a WORD. They were tired. They were hot. They walked aimlessly around at some several yards distance, watching me. If the kids wanted to run in a panic into the lake, that was fine with them. If I wanted to chase them in, so much the better.

Now, for some gosling research. I want to know how long they are little flightless balls of grey cuteness.

Here is where my stalking will begin: Coalition to Prevent the Destruction of Canada Geese

Ah, how the fall migration of geese will hurt this year...

Back in the Saddle and Stalking Again: Paul Reps' Arabic Name

I am finally recovering from the shock(s) of being laid off, having my car vandalized and burgled, and my checkbook used for $2300 worth of fraud. I'm revving the engines to go back to school, work, and Russia.

And Tassajara Monestary, for another workshop with Jane Hirshfield. She asks the participants to read a poem aloud to the group every day, and last time (two years ago) I read from the Zen poet I adore, Paul Reps. She thanked me for bringing Reps back to Tassajara. This time I want to bring some new, maybe rare Reps books so as to impress her even more.

Well, my e-bay stalking has produced a rare find: a 1938 text by him that is * in * sane * -- he is analyzing the meaning of names based on their * sounds *. It is new age before the start of the new age. He was 42 when he wrote it. What was he smoking in California in 1938? Had they invented stoner lifestyle yet?

So, he signed it "Saladin Reps" - and I assumed it was not him, but maybe a child of his or something. No, it was him. He wrote under the name Saladin Reps as well as Paul Reps. I have a whole new frontier of stalking! Unfortunately the only book I've found so far by Saladin Reps is $250.

Googling this mysterious name this is what I found:

Art and Buddhism: the Paul Reps Papers -- held in Los Angeles, where he died in 1990, at the age of 95.

Shine on you crazy Saladin...

Drowning My Sorrows in Light Beer and Baseball

The baseball season is arriving to seize me like the lifeguard in the breach. I've been floundering with my lost job and therefore lost financial security (two days ago), lost personal security due to repeated car break-ins (most recently a month ago, the third within four months), and a professional criminal contacting me in the guise of a police officer to confirm my personal information, and then taking my checkbook out on the town for fun and --apparently-- health foods and beauty supplies (Whole Foods and Sally's Beauty two recent targets of victims she's been defrauding for over two weeks now).

So, thank the gods for schmaltzy old movies about baseball. Especially "A League of Their Own." Here's a cool page with some of the real facts behind the movie:
Rockford Peaches - A League of Their Own

Their link to the baseball players charm school handbook is broken-- I'll go stalk it now.

Here it is... ...on the AAGPBL website!

I'm SO Moving to Slovenia Someday

Some early news from Geneva, where the UN Commission on Human Rights delegates are meeting March 15 to April 23 to discuss the world's human rights, including a proposal by the Brazil delegation to condemn discrimination based on sexual orientation.

Statement by His Excellency Dr. Dimitrij Rupel, Slovenia's Minister of Foreign Affairs, addressing the UN Commission on Human Rights, 16 March 2004

"One of the core human rights principles is equal treatment of individuals and prohibition of discrimination of any kind. It is through this principle that members of specific groups, which often find themselves in a precarious situation, enjoy protection of their rights. In every day situations, it is precisely those individual who need most help. The scope of specific groups comprises migrants, children, women, disabled persons, asylum seekers, refugees, ethnic and religious groups, individuals with different sexual orientation, conscientious objectors, people infected with diseases such as HIV/AIDS and many others. It is of the utmost importance to remedy their situation so that they do not suffer consequences due to their distinct status. The competent authorities should establish fair procedures, which would impede abusive and stigmatic treatment of any kind, and adopt measures which would protect their human dignity."

Now pardon me while I look around at the Slovenian Foreign Ministry's website looking for ways to improve my country...

Lifestyles of the People Among Whom I Was Raised
-- or, when "talking about their marriage" went terribly wrong.

This is a choice article clipped from the Watertown Daily Times this past summer by my parents and sent to me as part of a pre-Easter care package which included striped bunny socks that say "Make the stupid people shut up." As far as local Crime News clippings go, my parents specialize in husband-beatings, 25-cent petit larcenies, and "refused to stop yelling outside" charges.

Woman Faces Charge of Hitting Her Husband

DEXTER* [i.e. Northern New York, see my note] -- A woman who allegedly backhanded her husband in the chest was charged July 8 by the Jefferson County Sheriff's Department with second-degree harassment.

Deputies said Deborah J. Gross, 41, of 21018 Stone Road**, struck her husband, Allen L., 44, while at home at about 6:30 p.m. July 8.

Two days earlier, Mr. Gross accused his wife of trying to threaten him with a hammer and beating him with a pair of jeans. He said the two were talking about their marriage when she grabbed a hammer. He said he "lovingly" took the hammer away from her.

He told deputies that she then grabbed a pair of jeans and hit him about the head and arms with them.

* These touching events took place in Dexter, New York, about an hour's drive north of "Upstate," -- and
** at an address
10 minutes' drive west of where I'm from, which I affectionately call North Nosebleed

...Per City-data.com: the Dexter area is significantly lower than the state average in percent of people with more than a high school diploma, and even that is only 80%. As I sit here waiting anxiously to find out if I got into UC Berkeley's public policy institute, I'm enjoying a rousing/ vertiginous look back (down) at whence I've come. (Russians ask "otkuda ty?" -- "whence you?" -- and I say "neotkuda" -- "no-whence.")

Pretty much keeping out of jail puts me on par with some of our highest achievers. Like our journalists.

You gotta love 'em, they give the perp's full name and address. I mean, look at the place on the yahoo-maps link! It's got to be the only house for miles. I'm surprised they don't add the house color and significant lawn ornaments you might recognize. "Oh yeah, that's that pig-silhouette house!"

An Update: Resolution 137 Cancelled, Iraqi Women Breathe a Sigh of Relief

According to the Women Living Under Muslim Laws International Solidarity Network (WLUML), the introduction of the anti-woman Sharia (Islamic law) into the new Iraqi constitution was halted on February 27th by the Iraqi Governing Council (IGC, formed by the Paul Bremer-led Coalition Provisional Authority [CPA]).

Here is part of the March 3rd WLUML announcement's text:

A proposal to the IGC was submitted by Ms. Raja al Khazaai, an IGC member which demanded the cancellation of the resolution. Mr. Adnan Pachachi led the issue to a vote. The meeting was attended by 20 out of 25 of the IGC members. 15 voted to cancel resolution 137 and 5 members voted against, including one woman. Four members angrily left the meeting and went to discuss the matter with Mr Bremer.

It is important to note that the resolution never came into effect because
it had not been ratified by Bremer.

Ms. Raja al Khazaai, had submitted the proposal to the IGC following the
recommendation of the founding conference of the association that she had established called 'The National Council for Iraqi Women'. The IGC did not consider the second part of the conference recommendation that demanded that '40% of the seats in all institutions such as the Parliament,
government, etc. be held by women'

They go on to say that these details are not available in English-language press as of yet, so the WLUML site can only cite links to Arabic-language information sources like Aman, the Arab Regional Resource Centre on Violence Against Women.