Another Pearl From Nanna and a Note on Gender



Nanna is my bellydance teacher and she frequently imparts pearls of wisdom that are good for dancers and good for anyone. I have classes on Tuesdays and so today I have a new pearl.



Have a focus-- inward focus, or outward focus. Focus gives strength.



At this point in class another dance student who is studying massage therapy showed us how much strength someone's lifted arm gains when the person just focuses a little attention on it. If you move through life inattentive to your own movement and action, you will move through with a fraction of the power and strength you could have with just a little focus and attention on what you are doing.



And a note on gender. I wrote my definitions for sensual-living-related terms a few days ago-- and I neglected the many varied words I use to describe differently-gendered people. It's just the truth that someone in my presence is experienced by me as a gendered being, and if they are living (or preferring to try to live) as a boy or a girl, I will refer to them as a boy or a girl. I dated a self-identified bi-gendered person once, someone who 12 hours of the day passed as a man and 12 hours of the day passed as a woman, but in my presence she was a she, and liked to be called a she, so she remains a she in my stories about her. However, I will tell the details of her gender identity in pertinent contexts. Her bigendered nature was not the most remarkable part of her-- she *passed* as both genders, and liked to screw with people's assumptions all across the board, blurring the lines around her (Filipina) ethnicity by using exoticized pseudonyms, and wearing blonde wigs. Unfortunately, she kind of ended up stalking me, but from afar (she lives in another city), so I lovingly owe her the credit for inspiring the phrase "slacker stalker." She shows up at my performances most of the time, but when she misses one, I complain that my primary stalker lacks ambition.



A short collection of some of my favorite gender-identifying terms: trannyboy, trannygirl, third-gender, genderqueer, androgyne, gynandrone, genderfuckr, boi, grrrl, and of course the old stand-bys femme, butch, FTM, and MTF. Construct your own gender? Why not! But gender is a private thing, a secret set of personal beliefs, kind of like a religion, so before you offend someone with your assumptions of heteronormativity, female or maleness, or Christianity-- just ask!

Sample dialogue: Q. Are you a bidyketrannychaserwitch?

A. Why, hell yes! Thanks for asking!