Wednesday, March 26, 2003

Stalking the Streets




So the amazing spectacle of Thursday the 27th with its mass protests around San Francisco gave way to Friday, with its extremely overpaid on overtime and overexcited police force complete with rubber bullets and riot shields. I was a sideline witness to the 'Franklin Street Sweep' but didn't learn about what happened to my friends in the 'Sweep' until Monday. I was on my merry way to a queer affinity group gathering in the Castro, and since I was late I didn't linger to find out what the hell was going on with the police influx around the intersection of Hayes and Franklin. Turns out everyone was rounded up, even people on the sidewalk trying to comply with police directives, and arrested for failing to disperse. They were held for six hours and released with a warning to stay off the streets for 48 hours, or risk jail time if they again fail to disperse (i.e. stand on the sidewalk near a police officer).



Here is an account of the 'Franklin Street Sweep' by a SlackerStalker correspondent in the field:



    The group we were in was walking peacefully on Franklin Street when the cops surrounded us on all sides. They did this by forming a phallanx and running at us from behind so that we were trapped in the interior of a block where we couldn't leave. There were cops on all sides of us then. We were then squeezed in from all sides by at least 200 cops in a circle around us, not unlike how fish are caught by pulling the nets in from all sides at once.



    The cops charged at us with their billy clubs braced in both arms while screaming at us to "MOVE! Get out of the way!". One cop shoved an older disabled man with a cane down so hard that he was bleeding from his head and knee. He needed to be taken to the hospital for treatment by ambulance. Linda saw another cop repeatedly shove a man on a bike, even though the man had complied immediately with his orders. Two very over-the-top reactions that just the two of us witnessed. Who knows how many other acts of police misconduct were observed by other people?



    I also watched as press people were denied access to the area that we had been corralled into (a city block). One cop stood directly in front of a camera crew so that they couldn't film the scene. I also noticed that the highway patrol helicopters cricling above kept news helicopters from entering the airspace above our block. It was a news blackout. Freedoms of the press are also going out the window as well, it seems...



Meanwhile, late to the gathering in the Castro, I heard that the protestors who had been starting to try to block Van Ness and Market (apparently an anarchist affinity group that ran away from the 'Sweep' just in time) had been dispersed with rubber bullets as soon as they occupied the intersection. So, when our little fringe protest hit an intersection, we were careful to stay to the side of the road or on the sidewalk, and cross with the lights. We were trailed by an entourage of about eight cop cars and caught glimpses of a few city buses full of cops in riot gear circling the neighborhood. They tried to anticipate our route and we just randomly chose a direction at every intersection.



I marched and chanted and sung for four hours over at least as many miles. The police effectively blocked every intersection we encountered and almost every street we flanked, so nobody had to leave the sidewalk and get arrested-- the cops did our work for us! As we neared downtown the eight squad cars were joined by about a dozen motorcycles, and still later about fifteen cops in riot gear jogging alongside us. By the end of the night they looked neither aggro nor scared, just bored and exhausted.



Meantime our mood was both conscientious and bouyant. It was such a relief to do something besides watch the news. My friends and I walked with a woman with an enormous white shaggy sweet boydog named August who was wearing a pink sign "Puppies for Peace." Nearby was a mom with a gaggle of six or seven young (10 or 11 year old) kids, who we had picked up as we passed Mission High School. They led us in the Spanish language version of "The People United Will Never Be Defeated." One of the kids looked JUST like Harry Potter, so we nicknamed their crew the Harry Potter For Peace contingent. You get the picture-- we were pretty upbeat. The whole thing was very therapeutic-- especially having the citybus drivers and ambulance crews honking and waving the peace sign gesture at us as we passed them. My favorite chant was what I think is a modified soccer/football singing chant: "no war, no war, o-way owayowayowaaaaay." That was what we were singing as we hit the high point of the night, turning from Market onto Castro and picking up a whole new crew of marchers and getting a great welcome from the sidewalk passersby.



Now it is time for...

The SlackerStalker Guide to Late Night Urban Unpermitted Protest Marches

A supplement to The Slacker Stalker's Rules for Marching in a Mob Against Something (click and scroll down past the list of sign slogans).


1. Remember that at night everything is gray-scale and reduced to shapes and movement. Your pretty signage on sticks is wasted. Costumes, sandwichboard signs (for up-close reading), and flags are good. Flags give shape, movement, and drama to the movement of people through the street at night. It almost doesn't matter what is on the flag, if anything. If you are stuck marching with a sign on a stick, look for the police searchlights and TV cameras with their nuclear-powered gazillion-watt floodlights: they will pick up your message. ESPECIALLY if it is a TV helicopter-- turn your sign facing the sky and I guarantee they will try to focus in on you. Soundmakers are good too-- a little boombox with a CD of Mumia's statements against war is a nice choice.



2. BYO lighting. Flashlights, yes. Torches, no.



3. BYO entourage. Dogs and kids, yes, but keep an eye on them even if they aren't yours.



4. Get more mileage out of yourself with a little personal care and vocal chord maintenance. Chapstick, gum, bottled water, and the multipurpose cloth bandana or a handful of tissues, yes. Excess baggage, or even ANY baggage-- no.



5. Communicating with non-marchers is a must. Flashing the "peace" sign at passing motorists-- the minimum. Light-hearted taunting of people in restaurants (i.e. the particularly enjoyable friendly chanting of "Americans Out of Baghdad" to the customers at the Bagdad Cafe on Market Street)-- good. Beckoning seductively and chanting "join us"-- better. Cheering and blowing kisses to the people being arrested or standing in detention areas-- an absolute must. If you have propoganda promoting your cause then handing it out to passers-by is usually more effective at night. People on the streets are more likely to take propoganda handed to them by strangers at night than in broad daylight. Go figure.



6. So you have a bullhorn. Point that thing as high as you can away from eardrums that may be at your usual screaming height. Thank you.



7. So you don't want to get arrested. Either way, carry some form of ID, and a good pen. If it looks like you're falling into a police trap, find someone (try the guy with the bullhorn) with the number for your local Legal Aid firm and write it on your arm. Hook arms with the people near you and go limp as the police try to arrest you. This is the only way to try to guarantee they won't charge you with resisting arrest. Standing up too quickly can be construed by a nervous cop as a pretext for a good billyclubbing. And remember: smile in your mugshots. You don't need to look guilty. You never know when you'll be running for public office!



8. So you want to get arrested. Don't have enough activist cred doing the legal thing? Then follow the advice in #7 but, since you are planning ahead to get arrested, wear wristwarmers. 80's fashion rebound to the rescue! The plastic handcuffs will be loosened by any wrist apparatus you can manage to keep on. Then, when you have gotten a little leeway, retrieve the toenail clippers you stashed in your front pocket and snip yourself and your friends free.



9. Have sex. I heard this story from a credible source and an eyewitness to the San Francisco protests of the 1991 Gulf War One. A pier the cops were using as temporary holding for protestors was full of young gay men. They all had their fancy plastic wrist ties on, but that didn't stop them. They decided to start trying to have sex. It was turning into a full-fledged orgy (I guess the wrist ties were working for them). The cops were so weirded out they decided to let them go.



10. Eat fire. It is really a bummer to know how to eat fire but mostly end up protesting things in the daylight, when fire-eating is a lost cause. Here you are sticking hot stuff in your mouth and all you get for it is a fume high. So, when you know you'll be taking to the streets after dark, take:
  • a lighter

  • a small coffee can (with lid) with at least a cup of rubbing alcohol or lighter fluid

  • a metal coat hanger

  • and a 10" strip of old cotton t-shirt fabric




     Tie the fabric into a tight little swab on the end of the straightened hanger wire, soak it in the fluid, light it, STAND FACING DOWNWIND, tip your head as far back as possible, hold the wire swab-down perpendicular (i.e. at a 90 degree angle) to your face, open wide, dip it in, lightly close your lips on it (not all the way) and exhale through your mouth. Voila. Impresses the ladies. It is especially impressive if you wear some kind of message on your body (may I suggest painting slogans on naked torsos? Is that too Lesbian Avengerish of me?).

Saturday, March 22, 2003

Wishing For Ignorance


An interview with a journalist on the radio just now-- not KPFA (I had to take a break, they were listing the military affinities of my city's mayor Jerry Brown- letting the military conduct urban combat training in Oakland- it was too painful to remember)-- on NPR-- the journalist was talking about the reality of the civilian casualties, and the furious reactions of soldiers' families who have lost their children to Bush's war. He said that one US pilot pointed out that in Gulf War One not all pilots had been wearing night vision goggles. Now they are all wearing them. He's not sure it is better for them to wear them, because it allows them to see what they are doing perfectly.



I was a teenage firebrand in Northern New York on a science field trip to Fort Drum (the division that invaded Afghanistan first, and the largest land training grounds on the East Coast, and when I lived there also the base with the highest DWI, suicide, and domestic abuse rates). They handed me the new fangled night vision goggles, a toy we could play with for a few minutes as they got our MRE's together for our picnic lunch. It was spring of 1990, about seven months before we attacked Iraq the first time. The whole world turned eerie green. I imagined stealing the goggles... I didn't. Who is holding them, who is watching the streets of Baghdad through such goggles, who is looking into the other end of them, I don't want to know. I just don't want to know.


Friday, March 21, 2003

An Interesting Arrest Tally



If you want to catch up on how many protestors shutting down San Francisco have been arrested so far, and what intersections have just been shut down (they are still shutting them down), check out the ongoing updated coverage at the San Francisco Bay Area Independent Media Center.



Tonight (home sick) I saw the coolest and most inspiring local TV coverage I've ever seen. Not the TV commentators, scared and looking terribly confused about why people would be grieving and angry and acting out. The people, people, people in the streets.

A Fascinating Raed



An Iraqi engineer's blog. A friend's name (or pseudonym) is Raed, and the title of the blog right now is "Where is Raed?" Our blogger, his friend Raed, and his family are still in Baghdad. It's Friday there now but he has no Friday blog yet. He has a great quote up on one of his side banners right now:



    The West won the world not by the superiority of its ideas or values or religion but rather by its superiority in applying organized violence. Westerners often forget this fact, non-Westerners never do.


    -- Samuel P. Huntington


Wednesday, March 19, 2003

Hippie Crap Saves the World aka The Earth is Crammed with Heaven



Today some of my witch friends have been quoting the wisdom our local Bay Area astro-guru Rob Brezsny, the only biological man I've ever seen effectively (and stunningly so) lead a Pagan ritual prayer entirely by himself. He's also a Cancer like me, so his insight on the stars is tailor-made for me. Click on his name above to read Painful Blessings -- his very eloquent statement on the state of the world and the nearness of war and the necessity of inner fire. He is determined to recenter us on desire.



Also, scroll down, look on the right, and you'll find a letter from a Brezsny fan about another Brezsny fan-- Rachel Corrie, the woman who died this past Sunday trying to save the home of a Palestinian doctor. The tank driver claimed he didn't see her. She died with a bull horn in hand screaming Desist!



Rachel's Brezsny horoscope for this week:




    "It's a perfect moment to overcome your fear of revealing your raw beauty to the world..."





There is a lot of raw beauty left to be revealed to the Israeli government. And ours.

Monday, March 17, 2003

A Pause From Your Busy Schedule Stressing About the War to Appreciate Terry Jones of Monty Python



Some worthwhile anti-war fluff.



Links to an Observer article about Terry's justification for blowing up his block, and a new Observer article by Terry about poor Mr. Blair not getting any of the lucrative development contracts for rebuilding Iraq:



I'm losing patience with my neighbours, Mr Bush





Poor Tony Blair Wakes Up



Friday, March 14, 2003

On Top of Being Alarmed About the Impending War...


...and the resemblance of the pro-war demonstrators to facist nationalist/ Nazi types marching past me at the bus stop this morning, waving a torch and a flag and chanting "we support our troops" ...


I have just now run across THIS depressing dinosaur bone on the internet. Actually it's more like a broken clay tablet in cuneiform-- with the story of a once-rich queer cafe culture that has all but disappeared in the SF Bay Area.



Seven out of twelve are gone, as far as I know. Here are some of the casualties:



Mad Magda's -- a personal favorite with a nice blend of Russian, Jewish, Pagan and queer culture. I miss most the hammer and sickle inside the Star of David painted on the floor where you ordered, and the little magic garden where they had acoustic music, did aura readings and served tea under the only birch tree I've ever seen in San Francisco. Mismanaged by the diva / performer who owned it, sold, reopened as some other cafe. RIP.



The Patio Cafe -- closed for remodeling for like ten years now. I miss the adorable gay boy waiters in their super tight short shorts, their eggs Florentine (one of my few sins when I was still vegan), and the outdoor heaters with the wonderful cascading ferns and ivy in the back.



Josie's Cabaret and Juice Joint -- the comedy venue where I first saw Marga Gomez, after she left SF and before she moved to NY. She had a lot to say about LA lezzies, convincing me to not rush to go south of Salinas. I still have never been. Josie's was also the headquarters for the Tom Ammiano write-in campaign for mayor, and as a volunteer there I was reminded that Josie's was not only vegetarian in terms of the (delicious) food they served, but volunteers were not allowed to bring in non-vegetarian food to eat on the premises. A place friendly to dogs, and friendly to dykes, and sorely missed. Now it is a Zao noodle house. I loved the bash they threw for the Survivor's Guide to Sex book release party, where Annie Sprinkle (pre-house-boat fire, wearing one of her awesome costumes) led us all in a guided meditation to bring the entire 200 person audience to orgasm, Tina D'Elia wore one of her slit all the way up the thigh tight red dresses and read a dripping, hot, wet poem or two, and in finale the Hail Marys played their sparkling all-dyke pop rock for a small remaining audience consisting mostly of the band's lovers and ex-lovers.



Red Dora's Bearded Lady Cafe -- the Bearded Clam, the women's performance art Ground Zero, the home of the smallest bathroom in North America, the place where the china was chipped, the counter help was surly, and the gossip was torrid. Since it changed hands and then sunk into unprofitability (posting hours of business that seemed to relate not at all to when it was actually open) and closed, I have ended up in close relationship with the people who founded and kept alive that steamy Bearded scene. I actually performed at the last show at the Bearded Lady. But I was too depressed to go help dismantle the decor. I miss the horse model/ cowboy toy collection, strange installation art shows, the climbing, flowering vine-filled back quarter, and the 5 zillion different kinds of fliers on the walls, doors, and piled inside the front window. I remember seeing a flier there for someone trying to start a queer youth pirate radio station-- "help start this station or you'll shrivel up and die listening to KFOG!" (Now, I like KFOG for their morning show, but boy there's only so much Chris Isaak and Bruce Hornsby one person can take.) I missed the golden age of the Bearded Lady when my now-dead girlfriend Kris was paying the cafe's rent, cleaning and cooking, and trying to keep the doors open by hosting Friday night performance art shows. She did something like 20 shows there and managed to bring in talent like Dorothy Allison, Kathy Acker, Jewel Gomez, Michelle Tea (pre-Sister-Spit, pre-book{s}), and I think she even had Michael Franti. Or maybe she just tried to get him. She was impressed by his chainsaw act with The Disposable Heroes of HipHopracy when they played the Women's Building for some white lezbo event. So you get the idea. Crazy shit went down there, like someone opening 52 cans of tunafish, dumping it on the (concrete and spongelike-to-fish-oil) floor and stomping around in it, and another performance artist reading a poem while getting fisted. I saw the mysterious cowgirl duo Downriver there, and as part of the DirtyBird young queer punk festival I saw radical movie shorts there (one short that featured knife and blood play managed to nearly empty the place), and lastly, before the final final show, I saw my lover Kris read her novellas there, being recorded for posterity. Nothing has taken the place of the Bearded Lady, and probably nothing ever will.



Radio Valencia had a lot of bad luck. Right after being remodeled a truck drove right through their plate glass window and put them back at square one. When they finally again reopened, I became a regular for their African peanut soup, and of course their great music selection, which you could follow along with playlists at each table. They had the class, kitchy-chic decor and good food that Hamburger Mary's wanted. They had sonorous acoustic jazz ensembles almost every night, it seemed, and yet they were not too hip to have good service. I miss their good soup the most. Now it's either a Chinese or Thai food place with one of the ugliest signs on all of Valencia.



The Brick Hut and Edible Complex are both gone, also. I heard a lot about the former, and not much in comparison about the latter. I was freshly landed in the area when the Brick Hut started having the telltale symptoms of desperate benefit concerts. I am not sure I had even figured out how to use BART to cross the bay when it finally closed. I still hear women lamenting the loss of the Brick Hut- apparently it had really good concerts. I didn't hear anything about why it really closed, but I remember that landlord greed was blamed. I don't believe anything has taken over that building yet. In fact, looking on line a little, I think that it is scheduled to be destroyed in order to build some kind of housing there.



I found another sad gay list of mostly closed venues here-- it lists my beloved and lamented Alfred Schilling and Valentine's.



Alfred Schilling had the best mochas in all of San Francisco, and possibly the gayest waiter I've ever met. They were a little pricey, and had this weird dour Egyptian decor, but their bouncy gay waiter- who I think was French- gave the best waitservice in that whole neck of town, actually earnestly concerned that you had a really good meal, and a really good day. Besides the mocha and the waiter, I miss their whole-building mural of an African/ Egyptian pharoah topless queen seeming to soar like a torpedo out of the wall aimed at the Castro, her eyes rolling up to look at the rainbow flag on top of the building.



Valentine's was my little special occasion place back when I gave a shit about my diet, with its totally vegan but also gourmet menu. The last time I went there was after the Gay Pride Forced March 2000, with someone whose e-mail user name and hence my mental nickname for her is "Veganliz." We were windblown and sunburned, and after being topless half the day we were a little chilled. But still we sat on the sidewalk in the sun to have our coffee with soymilk (served in a porcelain serving pitcher) and organic green salads. I have no idea why it closed, but I especially miss their warm biscuit side dish.



Other casualties of mismanagement and/or the Dot Com Boom/Bust since I moved here include the amazing Old Wives Tales bookstore, Womencrafts West, the Whiptail Lizard Lounge, The Lab (that one went quietly-- unless it is technically still open but just not hosting shows), the CoCo Club, the Chat House, Castlebar, and - although not explicitly gay, an important punk venue - the rowdy smoky velvet-painting-clad Chameleon. Now the building where The Lab was (is?) and where queer arts venues Theatre Rhino and Luna Sea are still chugging along is in danger of being sold. Queer cafe, art, and performance culture has sure taken a beating since I moved here in 1995, not to mention Pagan culture (I think there's only one or two Pagan supply stores left in the city- when I moved here there were six or more).



You can see my measly attempt at queer culture preservation-- San Francisco in Exile -- a project where I work as one of the producers to stage queer performances and audio record them for posterity, an idea spawned by my dead girlfriend (pre-death) and passed on to me.




Tomorrow-- hopefully a morning free of nationalists with torches and flags!

Wednesday, March 12, 2003

One Month Before My Trip to Yugoslavia the Prime Minister of Serbia Has Been Killed

...high time to return to the land of make-believe!



Last year, soon after I started this blog, I got sucked into rereading The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe somehow... I vaguely remember picking it up out of a free box or off of the top of a garbage bin or something. Naturally, it took over my life, and I ended up having a face-off between Aslan and Dumbledore -- check out that entry to see who won. Recently I discovered that I apparently wrote but failed to follow through and post the second half of my insanity, when I threw Voldemort and the White Witch Jadis into the ring. So here we go.



One word aside about these two villains and their creators: I was feeling a little bitter about how The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobewas so brazenly New Testament on my adult re-read, and when I started researching the etymology of the White Witch's name, I was DEEPLY disturbed to find out that Lewis' arch-villain was named after an indigenous Arabian tribe, one of the ancestor tribes of the Hebrews. Rowling's villain's etymology is much less problematic for me... everybody hates the French (her racialization of the house elves and bank goblins are something else, yuk). But anyway. Back to our ringside seats, Aslan and Dumbledore throwing popcorn from up in the cheap seats somewhere...





Voldemort

(French for Flight or Theft of Death)

vs.

Jadis the Jewess I mean White Witch

(name of an indigenous tribe in Arabia)



Supervillain Minimum Requirements Compared:


Mask V. - / J. - neither have a cool mask

Armor V. - / J. - again, both fall short

Cape V. + / J. ++ both have, but J. ensares Edmund with her sexy fur -- rrrrow

Has own country V. - / J. +

Refers to self in third person V. - / J. -

Has a degree V. + / J. -



Subtally: V. 1 / J. 3: Jadis has Voldemort doubled over on the ropes with her magnificent cape around his wimpy throat. Down kitty!



Supervillain Added Bonus Personality & Physical Enhancements Compared:



Adaptability & agility

V. + / J. - he's got that changing bodies and form thing going on

Delusions of grandeur & creates world in own image

V. + / J. ++ both have, but J. makes her world all winter, all the time

Creativity

V. + / J. - I've got to hand it to V., Jadis is just too rigid about laws and rules and tradition

Lack of fallibility

V. + / J. - they are both fallible, but Jadis makes some really bad judgement calls- I would trust Voldemort to do my taxes, but not Jadis

Knowledge of the magical loopholes

V. + / J. - Jadis is just a leeetle more out of the loop, so to say

Woundedness & despair

V. + / J. - J. is just too concerned about day to day details & comes off as a busybody next to Voldemort's tragic glowering raised-in-an-orphanage depression

Genetic giftedness for the part

V. - / J. ++ the daughter of the ancient Hebrew Dark Goddess Lillith! Cha-ching!

Apparent celibacy, probable gayness

V. + / J. + high marks all around here

Panache & overall style

V. - / J. + V. smells bad, J. has cool castle



And staggering to the middle of the ring with a fist raised high...

With a tally of V. 8 / J. 9

... it's Jadis with the cool castle, Goddess lineage and big sexy cape! She's taking a victory lap! The crowd goes wild!



That was a tough match, and I have to say my favorite Jadis sure had a run for her money. She has GOT to go to Hogwarts and learn some of those "Deep Magic" loopholes that Voldepants knows.



Tomorrow... hopefully no assassinations!


Tuesday, March 11, 2003

Stalking The Patron Saint of Chaos



Lovecraft-- the name almost seems made up, bringing together a warm cuddly word in cognitive dissonance with a word related to unseemly doings, crafty doings, maybe even piratical and witchy doings. I loved Lovecraft after getting some of his short story books from my scholastic book club when I was in fifth grade. I bought and read the Lovecraft-inspired Necronomicon. I date my real involvement with the world of witchcraft from the time a local witchy person sat me down, pointed to that book, and showed me two points on a piece of paper: "here is how I do it:" drawing a straight line between the points, and "here is how that book does it:" drawing a hugely contorted squiggly wandering line between the two points. In other words, at that point I came to understand Lovecraft as art and not a real prescription for energy work, and thereby came to appreciate it as the wonderful baroque excessiveness that it is. I loved it even more for its persevering chaotic weirdness in the face of the bland, albeit more effective, simplicty of REAL energy work.



So I still get a warm place in the coldness of my Northern New York heart when I discover some new way to revisit my haunted-by-beasts-with-no-name childhood. Voila, the Lovecraft Tarot. I discovered it as a newly available choice at my preferred free online tarot reading site, Facade.Com, where they introduce this deck thusly:



    It is the deck of choice for explorers of the macabre, and for posing questions that should never be asked.




Now tell me, what ISN'T to like about that?



However, if you search for "Lovecraft Tarot" using the amazing Lovecraftian search engine (just introduced to me by my friend who I will pseudonymously call Al-Al) Cthuugle.Com, you will only get an EldritchDark.Com website with a Selection of Poems by Clark Ashton Smith In Castilian. Disappointing, if the only languages you know are English, German, Russian, Latin, Italian, and Croatian. I thought I had learned all the languages with grotesque, darkly fantastic and vaguely unsettling lyric poetry, but here they throw Castilian in my face.



I won't bore you my dear readers with the fantastic tale I was told about Howard Phillips Lovecraft by a childhood friend whose father worked on an expedition in South America to find the freak's body, except to say that Lovecraft may yet be alive. His body was never recovered. (I prefer not to believe the credible and popular tale of him dying in bed as a shut-in.) I will end with one of my favorite ever Lovecraft quotes which I never have enough opportunity to use:



    That is not dead which may eternal lie, and within strange eaons even Death may die.


Friday, March 07, 2003

"In case of emergency, the parking brake may be used as an adult novelty item."



Let's read the government's lips... and do a little ventriloquism.


Stressed out by government announcements about biological weapons attacks? Read these captions to scare-tactic illustrations from the US government's ready.gov site.



The parking brake one gets the prize for Warning Sign Most Likely To Be Taken Seriously in San Francisco.



Meanwhile, I was waiting in my chiropractor's office this morning and heaved her enormous Vanity Fair onto my lap to bide the time. Flipping through the scary skinny people pages (looking for the article on the Miss World Pageant) I found a gritty article detailing how the US government is using time-honored scare tactics (i.e. a la Stalin) to preempt a strong anti-war movement. I was astonished that such a commercial magazine had tackled such a charged subject -- how US Americans are "sleep-walking" into war. It was too bad the chiropractor was running on time-- I didn't get to read very much. But I did catch the bit about how Sean Penn is playing the part of the "useful idiot" (a Leninism) by the Bush regime, since his three day fact-finding trip to Baghdad. All they have to do is make his life miserable, and his cause laughable, and in the future celebrities will leave the anti-war protesting to the relatively invisible college students in order to keep their day jobs. No messy blacklist. The author (whose name I don't remember) also talks about how the government has neatly tied the hands of academics to keep them from speaking out against the war effort.



I thought it was pretty brave to do such an expose in the current climate. Well, looking for Vanity Fair online, I find that they are not based in the US. Thus their bravery in truth-telling.



It brings to mind that adage "The first casualty of war is truth." I guess the first English source of that quote dates back to the brilliant Dr. Samuel Johnson:


Among the calamities of war may be jointly numbered the diminution of the love of truth, by the falsehoods which interest dictates and credulity encourages.

(The Idler, 1758)




What for a truth-lover to do? Read your news about world-wide pro-war media bias at the UK-based Media Workers Against the War website.

Thursday, March 06, 2003

...ah Bernadette...



One of my links in today's blog made the portal go wonky and uneditable so here is the end of today's blog at the beginning:


    Bernadette Devlin has survived assassination attempts and unspeakable police abuse in the UK and US, and still she travels and rallies attention on human rights abuses. Her January 1992 speech in that cold Vassar chapel, filled with Ulster expats and maybe three other students, was part of the first speaking tour she had been allowed to do in the US in decades, or maybe ever. That day she instilled in me the lesson that armed rebellion is sometimes the only option when your oppressors know no other language.


    So, if you all notice a big dearth in Slacker Stalking in the next few weeks, you'll know that there is a cat somewhere that needs feeding and a SlackerStalker somewhere that needs bail bonds.


    Or, if I get out safely as I plan, tell my friends to send me a telegram in Slovenia when the police state has fallen.


Time to Renew My Passport, and Good Timing Too...



Because I need a break in this abusive relationship with my country. I just keep trying to love it and it just keeps getting scarier. You've all heard about the guy arrested for wearing a peace t-shirt at Crossgates Mall in Albany by now, right? Well I just read that a man was arrested in New Mexico a month ago for saying that George W. Bush is out of control in a goddamn chatroom. This same article tells me that Bernadette Devlin is no longer welcome here in the US.


I helped with publicity for the group that brought Bernadette Devlin to speak at my college in January 1992. I skipped the annual Pro-Choice Roe V. Wade demonstration in Washington just to stay home and hear her speak. That year it was a pretty historical humungous dykey feminist demo I passed up, too. But I was appalled that more students didn't stay to hear Bernadette. After hearing her speech I was ready to move to North Ireland and join the struggle for independence. To me, she's right up there with Marilyn Waring. They both responded to conservative repression by running for a government seat and winning- Marilyn as a teenager, and Bernadette as a 21 year old. But Bernadette edges out Marilyn in the category of sheer strength by - as a young wife and mother - winning a seat as an MP and then becoming a political prisoner - while still retaining her seat in British Parliament.



Here is a short bio of Bernadette from the History Channel:

    Bernadette Devlin was one of the most electrifying figures in the movement for Irish unification in the late 20th century. Elected to the British Parliament from Northern Ireland in 1969, she was at age 21 the youngest-ever British MP. She was a stirring speaker, winning respect in Westminster despite her age and controversial politics. In August 1969, she was arrested during the ''Battle of the Bogside,'' a riot in Londonderry that marked the beginning of 30 years of armed resistance to the British occupation of Northern Ireland. Convicted of inciting a riot in 1970, she spent four months in prison while still an MP. After "Bloody Sunday" in 1972, in which 13 Catholic demonstrators in Londonderry were killed by British soldiers, she assaulted Reginald Maudling, the Home Secretary, in Parliament, calling him a "murdering hypocrite." In 1973, she took her husband's last name, becoming Bernadette McAliskey. She left Parliament the following year but continued to be politically active in Northern Ireland. In 1981, she and her husband were shot by members of a Protestant paramilitary group at their farmhouse near Belfast. Bernadette was struck by nine bullets but eventually recovered and returned to her activism. An unabashed Irish Republican, she said of the 1994 Irish Republican Army (IRA) cease-fire, "The war is over and the good guys lost."




Wednesday, March 05, 2003

A Slice of My Life

In my work day I deal with queer politics from the sarcastic to the heart-rending.



Part One: the handwritten letter on notebook paper.



A letter from Indiana written out in black pen on one side of narrow-rule notebook paper sent to my organization (an international queer human rights org) seeking lifestyle guidance. Like anyone here has a clue how anyone gets a lifestyle. We're like the squatters outside the ivory tower, intellectuals who spend weekends writing theory papers and action statements to support Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence sex parties which we never attend. Meantime, my handwriting analysis tells me that this kid is maybe 17, and pretty damn gay, and pretty damn alone.




    To Whom It May Concern



    To start with would like to thank you for putting your company and address in the books that myself and others may read would love it if you would be kind to look and see if you could see if you would have any more info on the gay life style fore in my town their are very few gay people here that would be glad to say that their gay but for me it does not matter what they say about me because they need to look at their life before they look at mine like i said in the first part of this letter would you pleace look and see if you have any info that i could read and help to understand why that as a gay man they look at me like a dead flower or something so if you have anything if would make me very happy so until i here from you thank you once again.



    Will wate until i here from you until then have a good week or weekend which ever it is when you get this letter thank you.



I have found two nearly identical letters from him sent to two different organizations which somehow made their ways to me. In the other letter he adds: "I will die saying I'm happy being gay." In my heart I'm writing back: Dear kid, it's the same everywhere. You're a miracle. Don't die unless you have to. Keep writing.



Part Two: the other end of the spectrum-- a brilliant culture jamming love song highlighting the homoerotic nature of war alliances.



It speaks/ sings for itself. I suppose people might call it homophobic but - people! not all homoeroticism is wholesome! That kid in Indiana, he is wholesome! Pecker centered global politics is not!



The Oily Shrub and the British Lap Dog singing the duet Endless Love.


Sunday, March 02, 2003

For Those Who Have Been Waiting for Me To Return to My Bisexual Roots


I've just given my heart to a boy... named Winter.



Obviously, there will be some problems in the relationship, given that he is some sort of cat. Besides the language barrier, he lives in Boston and I live in Oakland, and he is kind of a technophobe about e-mail. PLUS the usual male intimacy issues-- he doesn't come toward you if you are someone other than his mommy if you are doing anything except running away from him. I was charmed by his good looks and his bold smiley-eyed kitty kisses (slow-blinking at me) from across the room while I was visiting his mommy a few days ago. I've been thinking about him ever since. His mommy wrote me to tell me that he said hi, but I'm guessing she's putting words in his mouth. He's probably already moved on to the next house guest. This is destined to be just a summer (or, winter) camp crush never to be realized after the initial flirting. But isn't he a handsome, handsome whatever he is?



The story that really won me over after the initial swoon over his sweetness and good looks is that when my friend got him a kitten after his first indoor kitty friend (a few weeks after he was rescued) died suddenly, she says he adopted that kitten and even nursed it on his man-nipples. Swoonable, yes?



The photo doesn't really show his size-- he could stand on his hind legs and look up on the kitchen counter if he wanted to. He has big wide feet and humongous ears like a Savannah cat, and he can leap any piece of furniture he sets his mind to. He easily jumped on and off the fridge from the ground. But shy and gentle, ladies, shy and gentle.



I guess he's some kind of Savannah Serval. Check out the Exotic Feline Rescue Center if you are a-hankering for a nice big gorgeous man-cat to adopt. Check out the Savannah Cat Club for more pictures of eye-candy cats like Winter.

Friday, February 28, 2003

The Answer to the Irresistable Language Builder Moment ... from my bloggito on Wednesday...



The answers, in order, are in this sentence:



The angry, hungry silver-eyed monster grabbed its jerky and smothered it in ketchup.



The word ketchup has its roots originally in Malay, but it came to American English via the Chinese. It used to mean any of a variety of fish sauces, and I guess the Indonesian red fish sauce is still called something like ket-jap.



Here is what EtymOnline.com has to say:




    ketchup

        1711, from Malay kichap, from Chinese (Amoy dial.) koechiap "brine of fish." Catsup (earlier catchup) is a failed attempt at Anglicization, still in use in U.S. Originally a fish sauce, early English recipes included among their ingredients mushrooms, walnuts, cucumbers, and oysters. Modern form of the sauce began to emerge when U.S. seamen added tomatoes.





Wednesday, February 26, 2003

Finally, Reportage on the April 15 Peace Marches:



There were millions and millions of people on the street two weekends ago, and they weren't kicking Firefighters in the kidneys because the Raiders sucked at the Superbowl-- they actually had a purpose. The Bush administration was given notice that it shouldn't even think of starting a preemptive war on Iraq.



My boss was in Rome that weekend. I work at an international gay organization. The last time I was in Rome with my boss we were organizing a conference on fundamentalism and homophobia in concordance with the World Pride 2000 festivities, for which Rome saw the most rainbow flags in its streets ever... thanks to the rainbow flag inventor Gilbert bringing about a ton of flags for people to carry... My boss and I marched with Gilbert and watched how moved he was to see how Rome had adopted his symbol. If only he had been there on April 15. 1.5 million (by police) to 3 mil (by organizers) were counted in the streets of Rome, most of them with their happy little rainbow flag in hand.



Here is my transcription of comments by my boss when I asked him about his experience in Rome that day:




    Almost everyone in Rome had rainbow flags with the word "pace" in white on it. The whole city was there. Even people who came from outside Rome had the flag with "pace" on it. It was really organized. I went to buy bread and the lady in the shop asked if I was there for the march. There were people from all over the country who had come. There were no problems with the police. Rome almost always has protests of about 1 million people, every week, for organic farming and stuff. But this was the largest ever protest in Rome. It was a very festive atmosphere. People were singing, everyone said they had a good time. It was about three miles, but they kept changing the route on the way because it was too many people to keep on the route they originally planned, which was too short. They kept going around different blocks to get people to be able to walk instead of just standing- the people who came later had to walk a long way. It was pretty cold, about 45 F -- a lot of people had the rainbow flags wrapped around them. I don't know how they had decided on the rainbow flag. The Catholic Church was one of the main catalysts for getting people to march. Maybe it was a gay person on the organizing committee and the church didn't realize. Everyone seemed really happy. They all had their rainbow flags with them, even the people coming in from the country on the train. There aren't usually very many rainbow flags in Rome, even in June
    (Gay Pride Month). Everyone put their rainbow flag outside their window in their apartments later. Well, 90% of the people in the Catholic Church in Rome are gay, anyway. It's either lesbian nuns or gay priests who probably decided- hey let's have a rainbow flag!





Yay gay nuns and priests for peace! Now, a little reportage from a SlackerStalker reporter who was in the field in NYC April 15:



    One of the cheeriest sights was the Glamericans, with their eye-searing wigs and Fifties movie-star sunglasses, chanting "Money for shopping, not bomb-dropping!" and carrying signs like "PEACE - It's the New Black!" and "War is tacky, darling!" One arresting individual in rhinestone shoulder pads and a Godawful yellow feather headdress had a sequined sign that said, "Honey, I *am* the bomb!"




Look at (and read about) the Glamericans on their website --unfortunately the photos seem to be only from the DC protest, which was more frozen and therefore more bundled in wool, therefore less glamorous.



And... a Little Bonus Bloggito...

A Nonpolitical but yet Irresistable Language Builder Moment with the SlackerStalker


A tip of the hat to my women witches' mailing list, which is full of linguists who have been plagueing us with these sorts of questions lately.



1. What are the two words (in mainstream usage) in English which end in "-gry"?



2. Everyone knows there is no English rhyme for the English word "orange." What is the other word which is both a noun and an adjective (describing a color) for which there is no rhyme?



3. What is the one very-American-English-sounding word American English has borrowed from Quechua, the language of the Incas, and is still spoken today in Peru? (Hint One: "ts?arky" is how it's pronounced, with "?" being a glottal stop; Hint Two: it passed into English via cowboys who had contact with the indigenous people.)



4. What is a word borrowed from Chinese-- specifically Guangdonghua/ Cantonese-- for a common food item, that is not generally recognized as a loan word? (Hint: for the Prarie Home Companion listeners-- it has "natural mellowing agents." But now you all know the answer.)




Saturday, February 22, 2003

The Women's History Guerrilla History Project Is Coming To Town...

And it knows if you've been bad or good...



I don't have time to go find and post my collected accounts from last weekend's marches yet, so to tide you over some more, here is something from the wonderful last holdover of the direct action feminist public education projects of the 1990's (anyone remember "WAC is Watching"?). Quoting from an announcement I just got:



    The Women's Guerrilla History Project (we say the WGHP acronym "whoop!") is a group of women, girls and transgendered women who wish to see a more visible & public presence of women's history and accomplishments. To celebrate Women's History Month (March) and International Women's Day (March 8), we create posters of inspirational women and plaster them all over San Francisco Bay area. Our goal is that everyday people will see our posters, learn more about women's history, and question why women's diverse achievements are often unknown. Some subject matter by participants has included: religious leaders, martial artists, political prisoners, artists, mathemeticians and family members.



    See our website for more info on making posters, our history, and wheat-pasting.



    We will be meeting Friday, March 7th at Cafe La Boheme (3318 24th Street, across from 24th St. BART), at 8 PM. We generally hang out and talk to each other for about an hour and admire the posters, then swap posters and split up into groups to fan across the city. rain does NOT cancel! see you then.....



    contact email: sfwomen2003@yahoo.com

Thursday, February 20, 2003

180 Pictures of Over 125 Protests



I have a longer blog in the drafting, with eyewitness accounts from friends who were in Rome and New York, but meanwhile satiate yourself with this page that has collected a bazillion photos of this past weekend's protests.

Sunday, February 16, 2003

Signs of the Other 44%



The news tonight says that 66% of US Americans approve of a war on Iraq-- only with our allies' support, but still. Well, the other 44% represented by about 250,000 people marched in San Francisco today, and I was drawn into the vortex with my little notepad and pen.



Here are some of the signs I saw (or heard of):



My friend Anna's intellectual Jewish father's sign:

Unilateral preemption -- a fatal precedent.



My other friend Anna's intellectual Jewish father's sign:

(A figure of Bush posed like "Uncle Sam" pointing his finger at you, wearing a Bin Laden beard and headgarment) I Want YOU for Al Queda... Bush says to Iraqis

On the back: War Will Recruit Terrorists



Another similar sign I saw:

Orphans Make Good Terrorists



Here's another intellectual sign:

Returned Peace Corps Volunteers for a Responsible Foreign Policy



I looked for the sexy/ perverted signs and the march was found lacking. This is the best I could do:



Brazilian Bikini Waxers Against Bush



...and this one which on second thought wasn't meant in the spirit me and my friends first took it...

Stop The War-- I Want To Get Off



Along with the

Food Not Bombs, and

Books Not Bombs, there were

Boobs not Bombs t-shirts-- on some chesty women, too.


There were quite a variety of identity-based slogans:

Midwives Say Push Hard for Peace



and...

11-year-olds...

Mullets...

Mohawks...

Straight White Men...

and
Cleavage For Peace.




As far as LGBTQ identity placards, I only saw Dykes For Peace, and Voting Queer Rancher for Peace. The latter wasn't the voting queer rancher trannydyke friend who I was hoping to run into at the march... she was able to find one of the queer contingents to sherpa her through the mob.



Along with the old standbys Regime Change Begins At Home and Have Another Pretzel, some of my other sign favorites were:


Don't Be Fuelish

Use Duct Tape for Homeland Security (with Bush's mouth taped)

Little lapel ribbons someone was making out of duct tape

War Hurts Kittens-- Won't Someone Please Think of the Kittens!

Afros Against the War (and the sign-carrier had a massive Afro, for emphasis)

Giants Fans For Peace-- Throw Bush Out At Home

(Two signs together) Nice People Against Icky Stuff -- with a plastic sunflower dotting the "i" in "nice" -- and

Smart Asses for Peace. ...The "nice person" had added in tiny print at the bottom: ...and I'm single!

It's a Fine Line Between Colin Powell and Colonial Power

Empty Warheads Found in Washington (with pictures of Bush, Powell, and Rumsfield)

A Do Not Enter sign with IRAQ taped into the middle

Cockroaches For Armageddon

Mong Fish Not War (i.e. -- fishmongering / warmongering)

War is Sweet To Those Who Haven't Tasted It -- Erasmus

Whoa Cowboy!

(in large print) Only One Country Has Used Nuclear Weapons (and much smaller) It Was Not Iraq

Lots of depictions of gas pumps as guns, including one person in a gas mask holding an actual gas pump nozzle to her temple,

and

VETO si'l vous plait!



There were a lot of signs made in French and other languages thanking the nations which are fighting the US war effort. I think this was the first US march I've been in where people carried UN flags and French flags... usually there is no faith put in any governing power by demonstrators.



There were a lot of good efforts put into magnificent-but-invisible signs made of clear plastic and duct tape. The US flag made of tiny duct tape stars and stripes on cellophane was wonderful, but a waste of effort for how it disappeared among flashy color signs.



There was a contingent of sweet, quiet geeks in front of the (comparatively loud and charismatic) Quaker Friends where I was marching. The geeks had signs written in black ballpoint on the kind of cardboard that you find in the package of manila envelopes you buy at Walgreens. One of their catchy slogans was Algebra Not War. Someone needs to introduce them to the Graphic Designers Against War.



My placard was from the American Friends Service Committee/ Quaker contingent. It was something like Interfaith Communities for Peace and Justice. Which brings me to my...



Slacker Stalker's Rules for Marching in a Mob Against Something

(for me as much as you.)



1. READ YOUR OWN SIGN. I am not sure what mine said, except that it didn't offend me. I went up to people with Draft SUV Drivers signs to give them some fake "tickets" for SUV gas-guzzlers (see my blog from a few days ago)-- about half of them seemed foggy on why I was picking them out to give them anti-SUV protest materials.



2. Writing a sign with each letter in a different rainbow color LEAVES YOU WITH AN INVISIBLE YELLOW LETTER. Just don't do it. Black, or dark green or dark red (which are black to the average eye in dim light) on white or a yellow/ tawny color is the very most visible combination.



3. The People, United, Will Run Eachother Over. Respect wheels (on chairs, baby carriages, whateveh), and respect the laws of physics regarding disparate matter not being able to occupy the same space. Your unwieldy backback gives you a backward wingspan (spinespan?) of about four extra feet, which you can use as a weapon to knock over a whole herd of skinny suburban ladies with one quick pivot. Do not use your body, bag, sign, baby carriage, or wheel chair as battering rams. Say excuse me, pardon me, scuzi, sneeze, blow a whistle, ANYTHING-- just don't push and bolt through a crowd. And think about bringing a smaller knapsack than the one you used to hike all of Bohemia last summer.



4. WRITE ON BOTH SIDES OF YOUR SIGN. We are all behind you. We will not run to find out what you are projecting forward to the two people who are turning around to see how far behind their friends are. We will more likely stop and wait for you to pass so we can read the back. I saw one hard-working pair carrying a whole huge canvas on a wooden frame with a nice black-on-yellow Bush Knew About 9-11... with an afterthought-- No War-- scribbled on the back.



5. TISSUES and PLASTIC BAGS are wasteful consumer products which you MUST BRING on every march. You WILL generate stains and garbage, unless you are Martha Stewart, in which case you like the status quo and won't be marching against anything.



6. RESPECT THE MIC at the rally before or after the march. The one time you are shouting over the speeches to your friends on the other side of the field is going to be the one time that celebrity guest speaker will be sitting on the public transit vehicle as you part from your friends and make your way back to the suburbs. Listen to what the rally speakers are saying so that you can have a palsywalsy bantering moment with Bonnie Raitt, Joan Baez, or Dolores Huerta later on. You think I'm kidding? I rode home tonight next to one of the speakers, still wearing her credentials badge. She looked like Dolores Huerta, but since I didn't get close enough to see the rally stage, and didn't really listen very well to the speakers, I couldn't tell if it was really her, or say anything pithy in response to her speech.



I will try-- if you will- to have better marching habits. As the Rosies the Riveters contingent said today-- We Can Do It!

Thursday, February 13, 2003

From the same people who brought you the wonderful "Regime Change Begins At Home" poster that I put up this last election season:

"Inspections Work. War Won't." Keep your eyes open for this MoveOn.org slogan on billboards around the US.



The brilliant and radical artist Art Spiegelman suddenly left The New Yorker this month because of how conservative they've gotten, but I think it's mainly the covers that have been getting the war-spirit. The cover of the latest edition (Feb. 10) has a forlorn male soldier under war planes and surrounded with guns reading a bright little Valentine's card-- it looks like 1940's WWII pro-war propoganda; however, the first article in "Talk of the Town" by Hendrik Hertzberg ends with this:




    The other day, Secretary of State Colin Powell was reminded that his boss
    {G.W.B., he means} is in bed by ten and sleeps like a baby. Powell reportedly replied, "I sleep like a baby, too-- every two hours I wake up screaming."



Earlier in the article he puts a quote from our Oily Shrub's State of the Union - a glib characterization of extrajudicial executions of the enemy - "Let's put it this way: they are no longer a problem to the United States and our friends and allies" - in juxtaposition with a favorite maxim of Saddam Hussein--- "If there is a person, then there is a problem. If there is no person, then there is no problem."



Creepy much?



Tuesday, February 11, 2003

How to Stalk - and Ticket - Gas Guzzler SUVs for Sport and Edification



I was in a semi-serious car accident recently, and today I found out it was a "light van" who attacked the parked-in-traffic line of four cars, causing us all to rear-end eachother. So, for the record, this isn't a grudge match. If it was an SUV who attacked us, the insurance investigator would have just said so.



On the other hand, I was in a minor confrontation with an SUV owner earlier today, when I offered the rest of my bellydancing class "tickets" to go around with which to tag their neighborhood gas hogs -- fake parking tickets that suggest that the owner should contact the manufacturer and ask them to make more fuel-efficient cars. Apparently, her SUV had been ticketed more than once with these things. It was also apparent that she hadn't read the ticket to see that it wasn't calling her a terrorist-- it's just asking her to use her ownership to advocate for better construction in future vehicles, and reconsider owning the one she has. Boy, it is hard to be too aggrivated having to defend my activism to an SUV owner. Especially one who dances like she has a 3-foot pole up her butt. And the rest of the class took handfuls of "tickets" on the sly before they left. I understand that some people actually need and use off-road vehicles and work hard to not take up more than their fair share of room on the road, carpooling and biking and so forth, but does ANYONE need a car that only gets 10 miles to the gallon? Is that defensible in ANY moral terms, when we are about to resume bombing a country only to get control of their oil reserves?



Anyway, these tickets are WAY fun. I don't ticket any one car twice, and I don't ticket the cars with which I actually don't mind sharing the road- the ones I can see around. I don't ticket in daylight, and I especially look for SUVs with US flags on them.



HERE is the Project Underground web page with PDFs of the wonderful tickets that read (in part):




    VIOLATION: Gas Guzzling Fuels Terrorism and War; Drunk driving puts lives at risk-- and so does driving an SUV. Oil dependence drives conflicts that kill innocent people. Please take a moment to consider the true costs of driving and SUV, and reconsider owning one. [...] Please contact the manufacturer of your SUV today and ask them to build more fuel-efficient vehicles. Contact your elected officials and tell them we should not fight a war for oil.


Project Underground & Global Exchange would be MOST grateful if you asked them to mail you some of their gazillion "tickets" - for free! Just call them at 1-800-497-1994 x 230. And remember...



--- if broccoli was the number one export from the Middle East, we wouldn't be invading Iraq!


Thursday, February 06, 2003

Today on Slackervision:

TWO GUN MOVIES SHOOT IT OUT - Martin Scorsese's Taxi Driver (1976) Vs. Rob Marshall's Chicago (2002)



THE LESBIAN MOVIE STANDARD (which requires two female actors to have at least one conversation about something other than a man):

Taxi Driver - surprisingly, no. (That's sarcasm.)

Chicago - surprisingly (to me, unfamiliar with the musical), yes. Solid.



THE JESUS FIGURE (which almost always exists in every mainstream movie, bringing at least one character to death or the brink of death and bringing her/him back to a greater glory):

Taxi Driver - Travis (de Niro)

Chicago - both Roxie and Velma, on death row in the movie (Zellweger and Zeta-Jones)



THE GAY CHARACTER (usually the only character that registers on gaydar, a standby in movies since the 90's):

Taxi Driver - Albert Brook's character. But that was a hard one to pick. I spotted him because he's the goofy sidekick, always a good candidate for the Gay Character.

Chicago - Mama! Queen Latifah! Those breasts should've gotten nominated for SOME kind of best supporting role.



P.S. Who the hell is Rob Marshall? - why, he did Annie for the Disney Channel in 1999, surely you couldn't forget THAT! Well, Chicago has put him on the map, so to say.


Wednesday, February 05, 2003

The Slacker Stalker Hall of Fame of Whacky Performance Art Spaces that Survived the San Francisco Dot Bomb Today Honors...
(drumroll)



A deep curtsy to the geniuses of...

CELLspace! ...for its transwoman-organized women's skills-building "do it herself" workshops, having creatively decorated iMacs for anyone to freely access the internet (regardless of how you look or if you have a home), for being a great place to have a rollerskating party or political puppetry workshop, and a reliable source of alternative circus entertainment. Their next endeavor, tonight, is an evening infoshare discussion on squatter's rights. Motto for the event: "don't let houses rot." I know they had a fundraiser in the Dot Bomb times to keep the space open, and since that usually spells DOOM for every other space, I bet they worked their asses off to stay. Plus they save money by never heating the place.



Monday, February 03, 2003

Gross Vocab Builder Moment; or,

The Saponification of Mrs. Ellenbogen




Some people become worm food when they die, some people fish food. Some people, or at least one lady in the 19th century from Philly- SOAP.

The phenomenon is called adipocere: it turns some corpses into a waxy, soap-like substance, depending on factors such as humidity, temperature, the presence of clothing and bacterial activity. The fatter the person, the greater the chance saponification will occur.



Here's another article, but with gruesome photographs for your Monday morning viewing pleasure.


Sunday, February 02, 2003

John Lennon - a much publified Beatle



Out of Liddypol came this wonderfoul poem (from John Lennon In His Own Write, c. 1964) that I've been wanting to share with you, my responsible citizen readers, because of the clever and frisky use of the Latin verb "to love."




    Alec Speaking



    He is putting it lithely when he says

    Quobble in the Grass,

    Strab he down the soddieflays

    Amo amat amass;

    Amonk amink a minibus,

    Amarmylaidie Moon,

    Amikky mendip multiplus

    Amighty midgey spoon.

    And so I traddled onward

    Careing not a care

    Onward, Onward, Onward.

    Onward, my friends to victory and glory for the thirtyninth.




(Please do not truffle yourself to look for hidden meanings.)

Saturday, February 01, 2003

"Something Broke" - Reentry at Mach 18 - and a Love Spell



I was getting myself together to do a little blogging about love spells when I turned on NPR quietly and gradually these words pierced my sense of morning torpor like a fresh volley of the Chinese New Year firecrackers that woke me up at 7:30 am...



    Blackout

    Mach 18

    Reentry

    Columbia

    Debris

    NASA

    No information

    No explosion

    Only break-apart

    Seven astronauts

    I worked with them for a year and a half; there is no information as to whether they are alive.




Now they are talking about the forensic investigation, and the potential danger to civilians who might try to handle debris that landed on their property.



The first article I came across declares the seven astronauts dead.



Watching the Blue Angels in their vertical aerobatics while sitting in a tarot workshop on interpreting The Lovers card, I suddenly grasped how much love is about the lurching, the sharp ascents and descents. You don't notice love until something forces it into a mercurial climb or fall. And then you understand that the tarot card The Lovers is not all about baked peaches with brown sugar delivered to your bedside with a tea rose in a vase. It's loss, and grief, and dramatic gestures, overacting. It is not a controlled, humble, balanced card. In fact, I've come to believe it represents nothing but the roller coaster of trust gained and lost, and that it has more to do with trust between two people than real understanding. You can trust a person, but do you ever really understand them?



Well seven families, a thousand close friends, and ten thousand people waking up in each succeeding time zone turning on their radios and TVs are feeling that lurch of a formation nose-dive. There is no understanding. And what trust we had in space flight has burned up in reentry. But then, as with Challenger, we will pick up our half-staff flags, hoist them high, and march on unquestioning. What, after all, does anyone know about space flight. As T.S. Eliot said, there is nothing but the trying.



And as in high flying space crafts, so in love. With that, I bring you lovelorn bloggers the formula I use for my very reliable love spells. (I don't do prosperity spells or finding-lost-object spells very well, but I am pretty much a sure thing for love spells and home-finding spells-- I fear loneliness and homelessness more than poverty and losing dear objects.) Remember that these seven astronauts did not fail in their mission: they dreamed, they did, they TRIED. In their heroic passing they give us an object lesson for daring to seek your heart's desire regardless of the consequences.



The basic set of rituals you need to do are 1. the clearing out, 2. the defining of non-negotiables, 3. the inviting in, and 4. the giving thanks.



1. The clearing out: EVERYONE has a love-relationship-conflict that needs to heal. Heal a little so that you have room to give a little. You know you have something to heal.



In meditative space, envision this: you go to the foot of a golden tree with honey for sap. Find a box and open it: find a protective robe from your spirit guide. Put it on and then find yourself in a crystal palace. This is a safe place. Call the spirits of the primary person who has hurt you in a conflict in a love-relationship (not necessarily a romance). Tell her/him everything in your heart that you want her/him to hear. Then thank her/him for bringing you this lesson. Then tell her/him that s/he can talk if s/he wants to. S/he may have things to say, s/he may not. Say
goodbye. Then either call in another spirit, or leave the crystal palace.



2. The Defining of Non-Negotiables: you know you have them.



Make a list of the things you absolutely can't live without in a love-partner. I recommend you make this as detailed as you want. The longest list I made still was answered, except for one or two key things, which I (at the time and later) realized were fair life-lessons for me. I DO RECOMMEND YOU SPECIFY GENDER if you care about that sort of thing. Some people have not defined gender and have quickly found their formerly-straight asses decked out in feathers and being marched down main street in a Gay Pride parade. This is something that you may or may not feel is a fortunate turn of events.



3. The Inviting In-- making these qualities YOU.



Now memorize your list. Chant it. Read it forwards and backwards outloud start-to-finish. Then take a spoonful of honey that you have on hand and eat it all up. You are in-toning, bringing IN TO YOURSELF the qualities you are seeking in another, and making yourself sticky and sweet like honey to that partner who is buzzing around looking for YOU. You want an honest partner? Time to make yourself as honest as you can be. Like attracts like. You may not dye your hair red if you are seeking a red-head, but you will get in touch with your inner-red-head, and that's never a bad thing to do.



4. The Giving Thanks--- don't forget your p's and q's!



The Goddess Oshun, the love goddess whose honey you ate, does appreciate your appreciation. When you get that partner that you called to you, please burn or bury your list of non-negotiables and say thank you to the forces that brought good love into your life.




Wednesday, January 29, 2003

A Little on Padiddle




Also: Padaddle, Pididdle, Pediddle, Piddiddle, Piddidle, Perdiddle, etc.




US slang term for car with one headlight. Origin unknown. After a little Googling I've seen it attributed as a term from the mid-1940's, early 1950's, the 1960's, the LATE 1960's, and originating from (or being current in) Maine, Mississippi, Tennessee, Oregon, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Western New York, Connecticut, and the NYC suburbs. Seeing one and saying "padiddle" entitles you to get some good luck, make a wish, touch your car roof, get a kiss, give a slap, or make someone take off an article of clothing, depending on the company with you in the car. The earliest version, however, was not STRIP padiddle, but kissing padiddle. Today you can call "padiddle" if you see a woman with one erect nipple.








One linguist thinks it goes along with the host of candle-related superstitions that originated with carriage travel, when candles were the headlights.





    If a candle suddenly goes out by itself, it is an omen of a death in the family.




    It seems possible that a passing coach or carriage with an extinguished flame might have required an antidote (the kiss). On the other hand the tradition that an accidentally snuffed candle means an impending wedding might have prompted a kiss for a entirely different reason.






Another linguist
went to TOWN trying to figure out the correct (or most correct) way to spell padiddle, which is uniquely suited to many spellings:




    How to spell a lax vowel (which, in my /f/ environment, after a fricative and before a stop, may actually devoice or disappear) in a "nonwritten" item is an interesting question. When I stress every syllable, I get an "uh" (the vowel of "nut") in the first syllable. No help for the spelling at all.





In the end the vote went to "padiddle" because it had the most hits on Google. Oh Google, how you've shaped us.




I won't even get into the different words for cars with a broken taillight. OK, OK, I will. It's either "padungle" or "paduncle."




I used to see a car with a headlight out and make a wish. Now I just see a dead light and shudder to think that this driver is someday certainly going to come racing up invisibly on my right at 90 mph in one of the Bay Area's Darwinian Merge Mazes on some rainy night and make me One with My Gods in a big steaming pile of twisted burning metal and rubber. I tried going back to making wishes, and the only one I could articulate in that heartbeat is "oh god let them drive safely and steer clear of me until they get that headlight fixed." California city driving has made me into a total basket case on the road. Being in a slow-speed low-impact 5-car pile up on Highway 80 coming off the bridge at rush hour two weeks ago didn't help.





The American Dialect Society
- my source for most of this stuff- has investigated the origins of Padiddle-- their discussion list has a completely and delightfully searchable archive, for hours of entertainment. From the ADS archives:





A collection of "padiddle" references in texts
, including an article posing the idea that padiddle comes from "perdido" (Spanish for "lost").





Another collection of links
, including a Washington Post article, and another article that links padiddle with perdido, specifically the 1940's song by Duke Ellington of that name.





Friday, January 24, 2003

It's Official: The War is CANCELLED!



Today the Lake Merritt lighting authority mostly completed taking down the red, white and blue lights from around the lake. They were rainbow colors (sort of) for East Bay Gay Pride in August, and then about a week later they changed the lights to red, white and blue for September 11. Then they were red, white and blue for Thanksgiving, then they were red, white and blue for Diwali, Ramadan, Kwanzaa, Solstice, and Christmas. The whole time I was guessing that they were up to support our troops in their unheroic swoop into Iraq, but today THEY WERE BACK TO THEIR OLD COLOR. A nice off-white. So, the authorities have spoken. The war must have been cancelled. They wouldn't take down this three and a half mile long "necklace of lights" involving twelve thousand or more bulbs unless it was so. Tomorrow they will finish turning it peaceful white, which it will remain until August when it will probably turn rainbow again.



I love Lake Merritt. The brown pelican are a bit pushy around the small black sea birds (cormorants, I think), but mostly it's the geese causing problems with the joggers who wipe out cutting across the goose-poop-laden grass. But it's all worth it when I see traffic slow to a stop next to the lake to let a long train of geese floppyfooting their way across four lanes of blacktop. And though the pelicans are big and splashy there's only 5,000 mating pairs left, so I won't resent their taking up some space.



From Databay:



This is the only salt water lake in the center of an American city, perhaps in any city in the world. As far back as 1870, Lake Merritt was declared America's first state game refuge and today is home to leopard sharks, striped bass, different types of ducks, sea anemones, mussels, herons, egrets and a resident population of Canadian geese. The lake is flushed twice a day by the tidal action of Oakland Inner Harbor and San Francisco Bay.



The Birds of Lake Merritt


Here's the vital statistics for Lake Merrit from the Lake Merritt Institute web site.


And click here for entertaining Oakland and Lake Merritt factoids by Nonchalance.



P.S. The Slacker Stalker Low-Down on Adaptation



Lesbian Movie Standard Score: zero (i.e. no two female characters have any one conversation at all, let alone a conversation about something other than a man).



The Gay Character: Nicholas Cage as the main character is working out a narcissitic relationship with himself through his twin brother, and since narcissism has long been considered the root of homosexuality, I'm making him the gay character.


The Jesus Figure: Also the character(s) played by Nicholas Cage. I don't want to say too much, but he suffers, has the passion in the garden the night before the execution, dies and rises again and is redeemed by love.



And my recommendation? See it. See it at least twice. See it alone and then see it with friends. Or see it with a date, then alone, and then with friends.



This movie completely rocked. I didn't remember anything from the reviews or previews, and so I didn't see anything coming. I, and many of the San Francisco Thursday night audience, laughed a lot, and laughed AND clapped at some points. At very subtle, good humor, too, not just the crazy action that happens later on. This movie was seamless, except for having the Nicholas Cage character drive out of the parking garage at the end in the lane that ends in tire-spikes. I don't think they meant those signs to be visible to the camera.



Wednesday, January 22, 2003

Blogger Pot Luck





The first dish: OUTRAGE- at the perception of popular approval of Bush, with a side dish of what did I expect. My office is hosting a Quebecois human rights researcher who has lived for many years in Western and Eastern Europe. She is astonished (pleasantly) to find out that there is actually an anti-war movement, and that the US is not 100% behind our Oily Shrub and his campaign to piss off the whole world. I was privately outraged that a researcher, someone who is smart enough to read non-mainstream news and know that network TV doesn't illustrate the average US American's life, would somehow believe that we didn't have an anti-war movement. What I'm saying to my non-US readers (if there happened to be one, ever) is that OF COURSE THERE IS AN ANTI-WAR MOVEMENT you idiots. We didn't elect this guy and I don't know where they are getting his approval statistics except out of a range of questions like "answer a or b: A) I want to kill the president and be executed in turn for treason, or B) The president is performing adequately at this time." Read your Indymedia and this wonderful pamphlet "5 Things You Can Do to Make America More Secure" -a parody of Homeland Security literature- if you need reassurance that we're pissed at our president, too.



The second dish: WONDROUS RESISTANCE- did you ever think about the verb "to maroon"? Does it refer to the color of your skin when you are left out on an island to die? The Smithosonian published this short article describing the Maroon tribal society, formed by escaped slaves in the mountains of the West Indies and South America, spreading among the lands of Brazil, Colombia, Cuba, Ecuador, Hispaniola, Jamaica, Mexico and Suriname. One source (a modern annotation to a 1790 sermon criticizing the French Revolution as a bunch of Maroons) connects the name with the tribes via the French marron, from Spanish cimarron meaning "wild," from cima- "a mountain summit." Another article on the Maroons from the Smithsonian says that the name became equated first with runaway cattle in Spain before it was applied to the runaway African slaves. They waged war for their independence and in 1739 signed a treaty in their own favor. "To maroon" someone at one point in history meant leaving a sailor behind on an island where the fierce Maroons might find them. Their culture, retaining African music, weaving, and matrilineal descendency, remains today in small rural villages. Read the side-bar articles on Encyclopedia.com or "Slave Resistance: A Caribbean Study" for more scholarship on these breathtaking rebels.



The third dish: A POINT WITH A VIEW- a tasty castle on the Croatian peninsula. At the moment I'm actually stalking Slovenia to the point of planning an overnight in a hotel built in this 18th century castle 30 minutes' drive south of the border before taking on the land-of-my-dreams. I'm starting Croatian lessons with a tutor in preparation. I'm saving Slovenian lessons for when I find a Slovenian to teach me. It's such a great country that there isn't a much of a Slovene immigrant community here in the US to provide language tutors.



The last dish- dessert!- SPONTANEOUS HEROS: the Automatic Crime Fighting Duo Generator The answer to the dry inkwell of the aspiring mainstream screenplay writer: "He's a suave Jewish librarian with a secret. She's a violent out-of-work former first lady with a knack for trouble." They Fight Crime!

Saturday, January 18, 2003

Spirited Away from Berkeley to Japan to Russia



I knew I had to see this latest movie by Hayao Miyazaki on the big screen. I have never gotten to see My Neighbor Totoro on the big screen, and only got to see Princess Mononoke once in a theater, and then in a big empty cold cheap-seats theater with bad sound in Santa Cruz, the last place playing it in the Bay Area. It cost me a $30 Berkeley parking ticket in a loading zone (in front of an abandoned building!): 2 pm on Saturday is when the entire surrounding three hundred miles of suburbs all drive in to shop and see movies. But luckily that $30 plus the $6 at the California theater door got me and a tightly clustered bunch of fans all the way from Berkeley to Japan to Russia.



You see, Spirited Away is a transporting film. I won't give it a real review, because it is in it's own genre, it's own category, unless you compare it with Totoro or Mononoke. It compares well with them. So how did we get from the Japanese bath house full of Japanese spirits and gods getting their cleansing sweats on to Russia? The elevator to the top floor. Yu-Baba, the mistress of the bath house, is Baba -Yaga! The guardian of the waters of life, prone to hiring young girls to do impossible tasks, and often depicted as having twin sisters, Yu-Baba even looks Russian, in a charicatured way. Her living quarters look royal, a mix of rich red and gold that could be just as easily Russian as Japanese.



Being a fan of this oldest of old Slavic mythic characters-- even believed to be a vestigial form of an ancient water-guardian spirit-- I went on-line to find the discussions that must be taking place about the link between Yu-Baba and Baba-Yaga, just in case other people saw more correspondences to Russian myth in this wonderful tapestry of characters. I didn't find much discussion beyond people pointing out that the Babas are similar, but I DID find this:


The Sor LaLune Fairy Tale Pages --- "A portal to the realm of fairy tale and folklore studies featuring annotated fairy tales." Including the histories of popular fairy tales! I found the discussion board where published authors were directing high school students to chapters on the anti-semitic roots of Rumpelstiltskin, and a discussion on the usage of "female cruelty" to enforce the cultural norm for women to be passive.



In that latter conversation someone pointed out how Miyazaki- who doesn't have purely cruel female characters- is writing for an Eastern (i.e. Pacific/ Asia) audience, people who are more comfortable with ambiguously good/ evil mixed characters. It's possible to have sympathy for almost any character in a Miyazaki story. Baba Yaga and Yu-Baba share this ambiguity, floating between generous and greedy, forgiving/ loving, and defensive/ vengeful. This makes me again think that Russia is more Asian than most people would expect. Their oldest mythic character may even have roots in Siberian or Near-Eastern places, where the myth tellers for centuries past the birth of Jesus still saw (still see) the forces of nature as negotiable, instead of Earth Spirit = BAD, Sky Spirit = GOOD as Judeo-Christian-influenced culture would usually have it.



Since you are ALL wondering, I won't leave you hanging. Spirited Away most definitely and easily meets the Lesbian Movie Standard (once more, the LMS requires a movie to have at least two women characters who have at least one conversation about something other than a man).

Monday, January 13, 2003

Why Didn't Anyone TELL Me That American Football is as Gay as a Judy Garland Memorial in Greenwich Village?



I mean, it is gay, gay, gay. Flamboyantly, lip-puckeringly, feather-boa-flippingly gay. Violent but gay. Like the Stonewall Riots but televized. I had no idea. I stopped watching TV sports when I moved away from home and didn't have my mother around making me watch it (as well as learn to catch and throw). So this weekend I was sitting around with a lezzie friend and her mother, who raised HER to love football, and had the biggest blast watching these beefy guys in reflective spandex manhandling eachother with SO MUCH obvious affection and pleasure. And the TATTOOS! Somehow I don't remember either the shininess of the stretch fabric OR the body decoration from the TV football of the 1970's and 1980's.



So now I can wholeheartedly root for my hometown Raiders as they strut their shiny boy stuff all the way to the top of a writhing pile of Tennessee punk-ass Titans. Hint to the Titans: they seem to like to BURY PEOPLE under big mounds of themselves. They do it with affection, but really, you could get hurt, so strap on your extra thick butt protectors!



Here is all the LGBT American Football team information you need to go have yourself your own big gay puppypile of overstimulated muscular sweaty bodies in spandex. Yum.

Monday, January 06, 2003

Fainting with Frida



You just never know how you internalize someone else's pain experience when you are so close to them that their nausea makes you throw up. Well, my partner died in October, 2001, and for a while I misspoke and said that I died, or we died, because I couldn't accept the truth of the words "she died." She had breast and bone cancer. Her long bones didn't crumble first, so she could still walk until the end. But her neck, hips, and pelvis were starting to crumble, and when her pain medication wore off, well, you wouldn't want even your lover to be alive in that condition. The pain meds weren't enough and she overdosed on tranquilizer to end the pain. I have rare moments of being really glad that her pain is over. Watching the movie Frida, about Frida Kahlo, brought on one of those moments. And a fainting and nausea spell in me, and an epileptic spell in someone else. I made it through The Hours- with its terminal illness sufferer's suicide- because of the awful droning Philip Glass soundtrack that kept me from getting wrapped up in it too much. I cried, but I didn't get dizzy and have to go sit on the floor in a bathroom stall (shaking & sweating) like I had to after the scene where Frida tries to walk without a cane despite her multiply fractured pelvis and spine. If only Salma Hayek had given up a little intensity to a droning weird soundtrack.



So, soes Frida meet the Lesbian Movie Standard? (See yesterday's blog for the lowdown on the LMS.)

Barely barely. Salma trails off to another scene twice with a conversation between Frida and another woman (her sister and Diego's ex-wife) FINALLY turning away from Diego or the sister's abusive husband to the matter of work or money. The mother being asked if the melons were ripe by the sister and the mother saying to give them a few more days- this might count if this weren't a movie about a bisexual artist who had lots of women in her life. Mind you, I really should recuse myself from judging this movie, since I had to leave the theater for about fifteen minutes. But really, if Frida wasn't fucking women she was talking with them about Diego.



The Jesus Figure in Frida? Duh, Frida. Suffered, redeemed (remarried, at least) and rose from the dead.



The Gay Figure in Frida? Duh, Frida. Bi to the bone, actually. But there's a sea of straightness around her. You'd think she didn't know any lesbians. Unless there was a happy lezzie scene when I was in the bathroom.



Should you go see it? Absolutely, if only for the puppet sequence by the Brothers Quay.


Now I know what's nagging at the dark corners of your mind...
How About the New Pedro Almodovar Movie Talk To Her? Does that meet the LMS?



I'm happy to say YES, yes it does. The dance teacher having a scene alone with coma girl, talking with her, helping her do stretches, saves this movie from a negative LMS rating.



The Jesus Figure of Talk To Her? Coma girl Alicia. Died, suffered, and born again.



The Gay Figure? Actually, I'd say our protagonist Marco, because of his love for the antagonist. I don't want to spoil this movie for anyone. This is a very gay movie all around. Not very lezzie, but gay gay gay.



Now everyone go see The Hours. Viva La Lezbiance!

Sunday, January 05, 2003

Tallying Up With The Lesbian Movie Standard



Yes, I've had a slow holiday season, and I've watched a lot of movies. As long as I brought up the Lesbian Movie Standard (at the tail end of yesterday's stalking Judy Holliday report-back), I might as well catch you up with the running tally. But first, about the Lesbian Movie Standard. From the top.



Q. What is the Lesbian Movie Standard?


    A. To have at least two women characters who have at least one conversation about something other than a man.


Q. Why ask this of a movie?


    A. Because the movie marketers did a study and found that females identify as easily with male and female protagonists with nearly equal intensity; males, however, have been shown to exclusively identify with male protagonists (at least so far as they will admit on a marketer's survey) so movie makers have no financial incentive to A) have any female roles, much less B) have TWO female roles. And two females having a serious non-boy-centered conversation on the screen is a rarity. You would think females' lives revolved around men. Or that there are no female actors who need jobs. Even Meryl Streep (according to an interview I saw a few years ago) has trouble getting work in mainstream movies. She makes very little money and works hardly at all compared to the actors with penises. So, the Lesbian Movie Standard, which might seem ludicrously easy to meet, is something modern mainstream movies almost never fulfill, I have found. Think for a minute, how many all-male movie casts have you seen? The Shawshank Redemption was an excellent movie with no women in the cast, unless non-speaking extras. I could go on- they are rather easy to find. Now, how many all-female casts have you seen on a movie screen? Outside the San Francisco International Lesbian and Gay Film Festival? Me, outside the festival, I think I've seen none.


Q. Who came up with the Lesbian Movie Standard?


    A. I picked it up from a movie reviewer from some lezzie rag like Lesbians on the Loose (from Australia). Or maybe Curve. I hate "Girlfriends" for being all fluff and for Ed in Chief Heather Findlay editing Kris' obituary shittily (even meanly), so if I got it from there I'd still give Curve the credit.


The Tally
In No Particular Order

NEW MOVIES FIRST:


The Two Towers: duh, no.

The Hours: beaucoups conversations on serious topics between many different women characters. An orgy of female verbage.

Maid in Manhattan: surprisingly, yes. The management position discussions. Go, J-Lo! Out Of Sight didn't meet the LMS but it showed how J-Lo can rock and roll on the screen. So it's still one of my fave movies. ("You wanted to tussle, we tussled." ~~sizzle~~)



NEWISH MOVIES:


Magnolia: surprisingly, no. If the mother and daughter had made two sentences of conversation after the "Mommy!" exclamation... but no, it was almost as though the director was making a statement by omitting any direct interaction between females throughout this long and exquisite movie.

The Shipping News: unsurprisingly, no. I would give it props for having a scene with Julianne Moore playing the accordian, though.

Men In Black 2: again, unsurprisingly, no. But please do rent the DVD if you ever have an entire day to kill. Many hours of extras.

Y Tu Mama Tambien: no. But props for NOT showing the heroine becoming decrepit, throwing up and snowed under by morphine drip. If they were more conservative, they could have gone that extra shitty mile to underline the plot's punishing outcome that allows us to excuse/ suspend judgement of the heroine's remarkable steps towards self-determination. But why couldn't they have let her thrive, or even start a brothel for the under-twenty set on the coast?

Josie and the Pussycats: okay, it's kinda old now. But YES, thankfully, yes.

Legally Blonde: duh, yes. Go Reese!

Election: again, kinda old, but as long as we're watching Reese fill the prodigious boots of Judy Holliday, yes. She discusses election strategy with her mom.

My Big Fat Greek Wedding: read my review of this one. Yes, by a hairsbreadth, it meets the LMS. Her grandma telling about HER wedding, passing on the story of the family. I have to give it props for as of the end of November 2002 becoming the highest earning romantic comedy of all time (beating Pretty Woman), and being a production made on a low budget and under the control of the female protagonist, who was telling a fictionalization of her own life.



NOW THE REALLY OLD ONES:


Every Judy Holliday movie listed in my blog yesterday (except The Marrying Kind, which was stolen from my local video store so I haven't seen it yet) has been approved as meeting the Lesbian Movie Standard. Rock on, wherever you are, Judy!